Living in Austin, I watched the Red River Conflagration with UT people on Saturday. The vibes were bad. Elsewhere, though, the vibes were—and still are—even worse. From worst to best, notable vibes after college football’s Week 6:
Miami
It was quite an ending. Fans of innocent bystanders will remember that ending for decades. Each time I am cheering for a team and that team’s opponent reaches the point of kneeling it out, I will whisper, “It can happen; I’ve seen it happen; it can happen; I’ve seen it happen…” until the clock does hit zero and my cell is filled with silence. But the worst part of Miami’s loss Saturday night was not, in the bigger picture, the ending. The worst part of Miami’s loss was the first 59 minutes.
The ending was wacky and indefensible, but nobody fully understands the fourth dimension, so how are we to blame Mario Cristobal for losing to it? The bigger issue Saturday night demonstrated, concerning Miami, is that this team stinks.
A few weeks ago, Miami received mentions in the same breaths as Texas and Florida State. Tyler Van Dyke was in the Heisman circle as recently as Saturday morning. Then Georgia Tech came to town, hair still wet from a Bowling Green swirlie, and Miami played said Georgia Tech nearly to a draw. Before Cristobal even opened WhatsApp (you know Miami needs their shit encrypted) and typed “u up?” to fate, this was a terrible night for Miami. This was confirmation that another shoe was descending rapidly in the Hurricanes’ direction. It got there quicker than expected, but it was on its way. Miami is nowhere close to back.
Notre Dame
Also not back is Notre Dame, and Notre Dame was slowly realizing this. Duke can only be so good. At some point, if you’re struggling against Duke—especially physically—you have problems. Notre Dame had problems, but their hope was that they could survive those problems long enough that they could be fixed. It didn’t happen in time. One of the worst losses of the year is the one where the thing you’re chasing—the conference championship, the playoff berth, bowl eligibility—is officially rendered impossible. This was that loss for Notre Dame.
Washington State
Another of the worst losses of the year is the first one, and this was that first one for Washington State. Worse still, a lot of Washington State fans were bewitched by their reckless evaluation from the AP Poll. They didn’t see this coming. It was never fair to Washington State to expect them to contend. They were supposed to make noise. Now, noise has been made against them, and they did a lot of the clanging themselves. Yesterday was a day for a long walk in Pullman.
Fresno State
There’s a point in the season when the probability of going undefeated flips from unbelievable to believable, and Fresno State was just reaching that point. They’d established themselves as one of the best Group of Five teams. Their one horrible game (the night they needed overtime to beat Eastern Washington) was looking better in context. They knew winning in Laramie would be difficult, but they’d seen it done plenty a time. Then, they got upset. A good old-fashioned upset. And while it’s better to be upset than to be beaten by a better team (because it means you at least have potential), it doesn’t feel better.
Texas
Why is a team this far from the bad–vibes pole after losing in the final minute to their archrival on the back of second-guessable coaching decisions? Part of this is that Oklahoma is not Texas A&M. Part is that had Texas won, it would have felt like getting away with it. Part is simply how bad the vibes were in these four preceding locales. But the biggest thing I’m learning about the Red River Dalliance, living here in Texas, is that it is firstly a party. The game is sensational, one of the coolest in the sport, but the party is even bigger, and the game happens too early in the day for even the most depressing loss to overshadow the beers. A few observations from West 6th Street, since we’re here:
- It’s funny for fans to turn on a coach when that coach has outperformed his predecessors and made a championship believable for the first time since Colt McCoy. Frustration with Sark and his underlings was warranted. They flubbed some things, especially in those final minutes. But the blind ‘fire the coach’ line is the mark of a casual, and the worst kind of casual at that. It’s one thing to not be tuned into your favorite team. That’s not bad at all. It’s another thing to make a whole bar listen to your takes. I don’t know how many Texas fans are the bad kind of casuals, but I have an estimate.
- The OU hate feels forced. It doesn’t feel like anyone means it. There’s no vim. The bar where we watched was selling a beer named “Oklahoma Suks.” Not even Sucks. Suks. That is a dumb name for a beer. It makes me think you don’t actually hate Oklahoma but you feel like you’re expected to so you’re making a big deal about it. If you hate a team, people can tell. You don’t need to make a whole beer to prove it.
- In the immediate aftermath of the final whistle, and I mean immediate, some guy behind us yelled, “At least we still live in Austin!” as though anyone in Norman cares (and as though tons of OU grads don’t live in Austin). The same guy was yelling Hook ‘Em at folks on the sidewalk while Quinn Ewers got blown up on that first down sack. Another bad kind of casual. I’m starting to think I don’t like watching football with other people. That’s concerning.
Southeast Missouri State
That’s right, losers. NIT Stu knows ball. SEMO is down bad, and the only way they could be down worse is if Eastern Kentucky was still in the OVC, which—hand up, NIT Stu doesn’t know ball—they aren’t. In fact, they have been in the ASUN for two years. We might want to put the OVC down soon. That’s a shame. I loved that conference basketball tournament, and it probably didn’t do much for Evansville but I have the impression Evansville is not in a position to lose anything right now. Not even the OVC Tournament.
Anyway, SEMO dropped to 1–4, blowing a 30–6 fourth quarter lead against Central Arkansas less than a month after blowing a 25–13 fourth quarter lead against SIU, something which preceded their blown 28–14 lead against EKU by only a week. I thought Eastern Kentucky was in the OVC, so I thought this was a problem for SEMO’s conference title hopes, but it turns out SEMO’s fans are just never going to feel secure with any sort of lead ever again. They, like me, will be whispering to themselves that the game can still flip even when the kneeldowns are about to occur. The difference is that they will be the ones kneeling.
Southeastern Louisiana
Remember Zach Calzada? More on him in a moment, but he plays for Incarnate Word now.
Southeastern Louisiana made the playoff three of the last four years, and it was cool and special and surprising. Southeastern Louisiana even won a playoff game in each of those playoffs, and they almost made the quarterfinals last year. Then, they started this year 0–5. It happened gradually, Lions fans lulled to sleep by a few expected losses as a big underdog. Then, bad teams started beating them.
So, Southeastern Louisiana was in a bad spot heading to San Antonio to face the one good team in the Southland Conference, and what did Southeastern Louisiana do? It mounted a tenacious comeback to pull the game within a touchdown twice in the second half. It built hope. It did not reward that hope. It lost the game.
Texas A&M
Remember how big a deal it was when Texas A&M beat Alabama in 2021? The Zach Calzada game? Saturday would not have been that caliber of a deal. Either way, A&M lost after looking for a minute like they were on their way to rolling the Tide. There were two snaps where Texas A&M had Alabama beat, and on the second one, Max Johnson got picked off. It was a letdown.
Marshall
Marshall suffered the Washington State fate without the hype, losing their first game to a team that isn’t that great. A little bit of Fresno State, too. They were approaching belief.
Kentucky
Kentucky suffered the Marshall fate without the not–great–opponent part, losing to Georgia in a game where it was immediately clear what was going on. It stinks to be the team that runs into Georgia the night Georgia wakes up. It stinks to realize that five minutes in and know you have a whole night left ahead of you. It stinks worse when basketball hasn’t been as fun the last seven years.
Alabama
We’re into the winners (mostly), but some wins feel like a loss, and it’s gotta be nice to be in a spot where winning at Kyle Field feels like losing, but it’s gotta be nice to be Alabama in a lot of ways. The offensive line issues looked even bigger than they looked against Texas. The Jalen Milroe issues were still concerning. Things this offense seems capable of doing against a top-25 defense include completing passes to Jermaine Burton and getting bailed out by Milroe’s speed. Saturday, Milroe tried to do a lot of stepping through the pocket to get to that speed. There was no pocket through which to step.
USC
Another way for a win to feel like a loss? When you’re allegedly a contender for the national championship and it takes you three overtimes and a trick formation to get past Arizona at home. The USC defense juxtaposed with the USC offense is a hilarious experiment. A lot of weeks, it looks like two people are having a blow–things–up contest where one attacks rock with dynamite and the other uses firecrackers on styrofoam.
LSU
LSU was in a funny boat Saturday where they were about to have justification to turn on Brian Kelly and now they don’t. Also, they want to make fun of the team they just beat, but it’s Mizzou? Mizzou is still a foreign exchange student in the SEC. Any punching is punching down.
Missouri
The thing I think most Mizzou fans should appreciate is that it’s been a fun ride. You guys were 5–0! That was cool.
Colorado
This is the median. This is the perfect median. There is undoubtedly some chaotic narrative discrepancy in Boulder (my guess is that there are freshmen who think Saturday was one of the biggest wins in school history and old fans who are nervous about Stanford next week), and I think it balances out to exactly where the national media has landed with a thump: Indifference.
Arizona
Speaking of Stanford: Arizona almost lost to them two weeks ago. Now they’ve hung with Washington and USC on back-to-back weeks. More fun to win, but Arizona was not expected to be competitive. I don’t know Arizona well enough to know if Noah Fifita is the cause here, but there is a correlation.
Nebraska
Imagine being a child known for wetting your pants at school. Now imagine another child wetting his pants in the middle of the stage during the school play, and imagine every teacher calling a lot of attention to it as they try to clean it up, and imagine this child being a vague rival of yours on the playground but someone the other kids don’t really like. You’ve come a long way from competing with this child in four square, but you are no longer the pants-wetter. There is a new pants-wetter in town.
Happy for you, Nebraska. It’s ok to watch the Miami ending every day for the next year. You deserve that.
Montana
Uh oh, back in the FCS!!!
Montana’s demise was looking bad enough that we were talking about it. Now they’re 5–1, they’ve beaten a good team on the road, and the demise still might be happening but vibes are so short-term that there is no need to worry about that right now. Vibes are fleeting. Remember that. Vibes are fleeting.
Idaho
The Vandals keep vandalizing. They’re up to 5–1, they haven’t lost to an FCS opponent, and now they’ve got a big one back in the Kibbie Dome (against Montana) that could set up an even bigger one, also back in the Kibbie Dome (against Montana State). I wonder how the Idaho fanbase is impacted by having been in the FBS so recently. Is there some holdover there? Was that a hindrance? I need to move on now before I start charting Big Sky attendance against the Mountain West, Sun Belt, and 2010s FBS Independents not named BYU or Notre Dame.
Western Carolina
When you win a ranked matchup 52–50 on a last-second field goal, we aren’t going to ask who was doing the ranking. Congratulations to the Catamounts, who are on a collision course with the Paladins. (That really sounds like the football league in a children’s novel.)
Georgia
I don’t think Georgia fans were actively stressed, but they definitely weren’t happy, and now their postseason hopes are back to being more about whether they’re good enough to steamroll through the national championship and less about whether everyone else is bad enough for them to tiptoe through the national championship. Also? It feels good to stomp somebody decent. It is a really cathartic feeling. It puts such a spring in your step.
Michigan
Michigan wasn’t dealing with the same degree of malaise as Georgia, or even malaise at all, but they’d looked a little vulnerable through the Rutgers game and now they don’t look vulnerable anymore. They look good enough to get Ryan Day fired. That doesn’t mean they will, but it’s got Michigan fans salivating, and probably Ryan Day too. Ryan Day seems like he’d love the hot seat.
UNC
Also looking good is UNC, which is new. Usually when UNC gets good results in football, it’s with a pretty clear “yeah, but.” No buts here. UNC fans’ death threats towards NCAA officials worked, Tez Walker has been cleared, and the Tar Heels don’t even look like they necessarily need him, if the offense is going to hum like it did against Syracuse. Neither UNC nor Louisville plays either Florida State or each other in the regular season, and I’m starting to understand ACC expansion. I think the thought is that if every decent team avoids playing the rest, the ACC will pack the playoff. It is easier to keep the undefeateds apart if you have a 36-team league.
Wyoming
One of the most fun things about field storms is looking at the fans and saying, “Yep, those are ______ fans.” Duke fans, post-Clemson. Louisville fans, post-Notre Dame. Wyoming fans, now both post-Texas Tech and post-Fresno State. That kid jumping up and down behind the sideline reporter while his bearded uncle in the camo Pokes hat smiled? He asked every person at church yesterday if they stayed up for the end of the game.
Oklahoma
That has to feel so good if you’re Oklahoma. You’re the second-best team in the New SEC right now. Last year, you went 6–7. Lincoln Riley left, and everybody (including us!) said “uh oh you guys might become Nebraska” and Brent Venables said, sternly, “No.” Dillon Gabriel might win the Heisman, too.
Louisville
Finally, with the best vibes of the week: The Louisville Cardinals. Nowhere in the world looked as fun Saturday night as Papa John KFC Memorial Stadium at Churchill Downs, and that was before we realized Jack Harlow was there! Imagine storming a field, looking to your left, and realizing you’re jumping up and down with the guy who did Whats Poppin. Would you ask him what’s poppin? Would he say, “This!”?
Louisville football has the Notre Dame basketball effect to it, by which I mean you forget that Louisville football belongs to the same school as Louisville basketball (and the same city as the Kentucky Derby, which isn’t good or bad but also does not jive with Louisville football). Papa John KFC Memorial Stadium at Churchill Downs looks like it is crumbling in a steady drip of rust-stained concrete, and that only made Saturday night look like more of a blast.
You never doubt the ability of Louisvillians to have fun, but Saturday’s appeared to be an especially happy kind of fun.
