The NCAA fights dirty.
If you’ve been following at home, you know that back around Fantasy Football Draft Season, the NCAA took actions to attempt to inhibit my financial success. They hired a dog to bite my neighbor. They took down cell phone towers near my home. I’m pretty sure they put a screw in one of my tires.
Well, their efforts have so far been unsuccessful. I’m 3-0 (in one league—averaging .500 across the other two). Eastern Washington legend Cooper Kupp has been running roughshod over the opposition. Greg Olsen’s trade value is skyrocketing, meaning I’m about to cash in on an aggressive late-round pick. Ageless wonder Tom Brady continues to score me points.
Whether they realized they were powerless to stop my I-spend-lots-of-time-on-my-phone-because-I-take-long-dumps dominance of the sport, or just decided to go after another one of my income streams—rideshare driving—is unclear. But yesterday, I woke up to this:
I’ll admit it. I was rattled. Of course, because I bought my tires from Firestone Complete Auto Care™, they’re under warranty, and because I have a tire pump in my trunk, all it took was a little calf workout to get my car the two miles to the shop. But it did mess up my day, about a week before my Big Sky All-Access Internet TV™ subscription renews, and I ended up feeling somewhat out of sorts all afternoon.
But we rallied.
With the help of a neighbor, I made it down to tutor the sixth grader I’ve been tutoring. With the help of Firestone Complete Auto Care™, I got the tire patched quickly enough to be back on the road this morning. And in the meantime, I had a little extra time to scour the waiver wire looking for the best ST/D for Week 4 (torn between the Colts and the Broncos, though I also like the Steelers with that Cincinnati matchup).
Of course, the NCAA decided to try to cover this misdeed and distract from the real story by notifying the public of sanctions against an irrelevant college basketball program (Kansas hasn’t made an NIT in fifty straight seasons). But whether the world hears of this yet or not doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m back on the road, back on The Internet™, and ready to make my voice heard yet again in the continuing fight for the NIT’s freedom.
Your move, NCAA.
