A thread:
Around New Year’s, though, the Peach Bowl will happen, and Ohio State will obliterate Utah. Few will enjoy it. Four days later, Oklahoma will best Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, and we will all lament that the thrilling game we just watched was not part the playoff process.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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Georgia fans will nod vigorously in agreement with us. South Carolina will enjoy a leisurely fifth week of the offseason.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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Georgia fans will pipe in that they would have appreciated the opportunity to compete in a rematch with LSU, who beat them 38 to zero while Ed Orgeron wrestled Mike the Tiger on the sideline. Urban Meyer will agree to coach USC.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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“Hey, Jim, that looks pretty good,” Kirk Herbstreit will say as he applies sunscreen to the hard-to-reach areas of Lee Corso’s back. None of the three men will see Pat McAfee hurtle by the window outside them, practicing his belly flops into the Bristol snow.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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After a particularly messy College Football Playoff selection process that ends with Alabama beating the brains out of Wisconsin and Clemson in the semifinals and championship, we will lament that we know not the true champion, for 12-1 Appalachian State was left out.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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In the offseason, Urban Meyer will fail to disclose that one of his assistants is holding Nazi rallies in USC’s practice facilities. Also of note, the powers that be will announce that an expanded eight-team playoff is coming in 2022-23.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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We will have enjoyed the 8-team playoff, except: Michigan was left out at 10-2, and some think they may have given USC a better game than Georgia did. The only way to know for sure is the 12-team playoff Fleck has designed in which one bid is set aside for “caffeine.”
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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2023-24 will go relatively smoothly. By which I mean we’re all going to be upset that Fleck’s Gophers didn’t make the field but USC’s Hitler Youth did, despite each having a 10-2 record. The Nazi crisis at USC and other Larry Scott-adjacent foibles will prompt a federal…
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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In 2025, Texas will get so sick of losing that its state government will begin an advertising program in which football players proclaim that the state is “great for business!” on TV’s across America. The ad buy will choke out the 2028 presidential election…
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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By the time Texas has won its fourth straight title, the country will be in hot debate over whether Trump University (Liberty will have been renamed by then) should really have gotten in ahead of Michigan State. Cries for a 12-team playoff will become a chorus.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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“We have come to the agreement that 8 is not enough. Neither is 12. Neither is 16. 24 teams will guarantee us the true champion.” -Meyer, June 2030.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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While college football fans are relieved to have a new champion, many are still infuriated that Central Michigan was left out at 10-2 while 8-4 Indiana made the cut. “We want 32 teams, and we want it now!” we will cry…
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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Soon, of course, the playoff will expand to 32 teams, while North Dakota State begins winning national titles at an accelerating pace. After they beat Georgia in the 2044 semifinal, a conversation will take place over whether the playoff should be double elimination.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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By 2074, college football will have evolved into the perfect system: the playoff will consist of 128 teams. It will be triple-elimination (this change was necessitated by Georgia losing to Kentucky twice in 2068). The regular season will be one week long…
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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Perfection doesn’t last, though. In the 2096 presidential election, New Tea Party candidate Ulysses S. Romney will win on the promise to privatize the National Universities & Tradeschool Service Assisting Collegiate Kinetics of Canada and the United States.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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With no formal way of determining a champion, the press will take it upon themselves to vote upon which team is college football’s best at the end of the season. In the first year of this, Notre Dame will finally win its first title since the 1980’s…
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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Over time, conferences will re-form, and people will bring back those end-of-season exhibitions called “bowls.” Eventually, we will recognize bowls could be used to help determine which region's best team is the nation's best, if we could only get the two best teams…
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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…to play head-to-head. This will prompt the a new system relying in large part on artificial intelligence to determine the two best teams. In the first year, AI will select UCLA to play Oklahoma State and we will all be furious. Cries will begin for a 4-team playoff.
— NIT Stu (@nit_stu) November 18, 2019
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