Justin Verlander’s been around a while, but he doesn’t seem to elicit all that strong of emotions. He left Detroit early enough that he’ll be remembered by many as an Astro. He was part of a prominent team of cheaters, but the known cheating was of help to batters, not him. He’s a surefire Hall of Famer, and a potential name to be thrown around as the best pitcher of his generation down the line, but he’s neither likable nor a particularly energizing villain.
Which is why I think we need to associate him with Rick Porcello.
For those in need of a refresher: The year Verlander lost the Cy Young Award despite receiving the most first-place votes (the thing that led his wife, Kate Upton, to tweet something to the effect of, “I thought I was the only one allowed to fuck Justin Verlander,” in a very ride-or-die moment), the guy who beat him was Rick Porcello. Rick friggin’ Porcello. Rick Porcello, Verlander’s former teammate (who rugby tackled Kevin Youkilis once in a great example of using your adversary’s momentum against them) and a career 4.40 ERA guy. Rick Porcello, the oddest name on the AL Cy Young ledger since at least 1996.
Rick Porcello’s Cy Young undoubtedly still eats at Justin Verlander. Rick Porcello is undoubtedly both a friend to Justin Verlander and an eternal thorn in the Verlander family’s side. Rick Porcello’s name is likely the one thing most capable of sending the soon-to-be three-time Cy Young winner into an utter rage.
So.
When Verlander has outings like yesterday’s, where the Mariners needled him with extra-base hits and made big bad Yordan Álvarez come to the old man’s rescue (which big bad Yordan Álvarez very emphatically did), we need to remind Verlander that Porcello would have gotten those guys out. 2016 AL Cy Young Award winner Rick Porcello would’ve taken care of it.
Josh Pastner’s Back
Happy ACC Media Day, everybody:
To be clear, Pastner was talking about Georgia Tech’s role in the realm of space exploration, but thank you to my brother Will for seeing this and making sure we all could enjoy it together. In only a few weeks, Josh Pastner will be in our lives once or twice a week, hiding liquids on even more planets and moons. I guess this is why people love autumn.
Oh, So Now Cole Custer’s Driving Too Slow?
Cole Custer, who might lose his job this offseason for not driving fast enough, is now taking heat from NASCAR’s governing body (also called NASCAR) for driving too slow on Sunday, conspiring with his team to make sure Chase Briscoe advanced to the next round of the playoffs. First of all, that’s just being a good friend. Second of all, the driving too slow/fast thing. Third of all, maybe the secret to making road courses exciting with the new car is to let some drivers drive as slow as they want. There was more passing with Custer’s shenanigans than there was in the entire rest of the race on Sunday. Or at least, it was close.
They Should Stop the F1 Season
I’m not going to figure out what happened in Japan with the points and all that, but congratulations to Max Verstappen, who is either great at this or simply Red Bull’s preferred driver, it is so hard to know, I will make sure to ask all the McLaren bros I drive around Austin the weekend after this one while I try to avoid the rideshare pickup mayhem that is COTA.
Anyway, can we stop the F1 season now? This shit was already boring, and now it’s meaningless for any season-long implications. F1 had a great surge last year, producing a classic fire-and-ice season-long duel between Verstappen and Lewis Hamilton, and then they fumbled at the goal line with the Abu Dhabi controversy and followed it up with a single-driver-dominance plot that’s hard to buy into because other teams aren’t consistently doing their best and falling short of Verstappen, other teams are just a thorough mess and Red Bull isn’t. I would like F1 a lot more if they said, ‘You know what? Yeah. This isn’t good enough. Go home, everyone, and we’ll try again next year.’ And why shouldn’t they? They already change everything else on the fly.
Fargo’s Latest Trick
This actually isn’t a trick, but someone in the apartment got these little stuffed cloth pumpkins out of storage last night, and Fargo has decided they’re hers. After a year of accepting she’s not allowed on top of the kitchen table, she launched an invasion of said kitchen table this morning, then hustled off with one (1) stuffed cloth pumpkin to her lair (the office, where there’s still a soft blanket on the ground from a week and a half ago when we had a friend in there sleeping on an air mattress). We’ve long said that Fargo—a diet-restricted gal of French and Swiss descent—is a basic betch. We should have seen the pumpkin obsession coming.
Housekeeping
Joe says we might have Gelo up tomorrow in time for the Sens season opener. We’ll have a Bevo’s Fake Nuts soon—we’re continuing to process how good Texas looked against Oklahoma. The License Plate Bracket is at least six days away from even being unveiled. We’re still scrambling, friends. Thanks for bearing with us.
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Viewing schedule:
4:35 PM EDT: Philadelphia @ Atlanta – Game 2 (FOX)
How funny was the Nick Castellanos game? The rare player whose success in that matchup could leave both Philadelphian and Georgian fans upset.
8:37 PM EDT: San Diego @ Los Angeles – Game 2 (FS1)
Yu Darvish returns to Dodger Stadium again. The greatest of all of us, checking in for another duel with destiny.
