Stu’s Notes: As an Uber Eats Driver…

Last night was a big one for those of us who deliver food professionally and blog about middling college basketball it’ll–be–professionally–soon–honey–I–swear.

A “delivery driver” walked onto the court at Duquesne during a live play.

We used the scare quotes there because it’s looking like this was staged. The delivery man was wearing a microphone. This was a setup, and Duquesne’s security team—though justifiably maligned, how do you let a man with a bag onto a basketball court in the middle of a live game—probably wasn’t responsible for letting him into the arena in the first place. This is my speculation, and we’ll probably find out more, but my bet is that he got in with a ticket.

That said…

You can get into a lot of places if you’re delivering food.

It took me a while to consciously notice this, but people don’t ask questions when you’re carrying a bag of food. They see you looking at your phone, looking up at them, and holding a bag of burgers, and they make way. That NPR thing about being cool to the pizza dude? That made an impact on our society. Everyone but sociopaths, one power-hungry doorperson at a downtown condo building here in Austin, and my cousin’s friend Chris treats delivery drivers pretty well once they’re confronting them in the flesh. At the very least, they let us do our thing.

I’m not suggesting that you could order McDonald’s for yourself then take it to whatever building you want to access and probably be let in.

But if you order McDonald’s for yourself then take it to whatever building you want to access, you’ll probably be let in.

Just make sure you look at your phone and appear simultaneously a little confused and confidently purposeful.

Other Last NITe Happenings

I gave up a lot of my life watching SoCon officials do their best in Greenville, so I was a little out of the loop on the rest of the country, but from what I ascertained:

  • The Big Ten’s attempt to punish Northwestern for getting Covid has instead punished Wisconsin while enabling Northwestern to get hot.
  • St. John’s remains incredibly fun but not in a way where they’re good at basketball.
  • Tulane will never die. They are, indeed, a wave. You cannot squash them like you can squash almost every other entity in existence. Waves cannot be squashed.
  • Utah State avoided disaster, Mississippi State avoided disaster, Texas Tech might stink and we might be in the final year of the wild Mark Adams era in Lubbock.
  • Thank goodness Dayton doesn’t play at Duquesne this year, because I think some Dayton fans might have googled anthrax last night before coming back to themselves.

Dayton has enough talent that we’re going to hold onto them a little longer on our list of Ten Teams Who Could Win the NIT™, but we’re ditching Texas Tech. Yes, they could rally, but they’d probably have to go 7-6 from here just to make the NIT, and that would require doing something like winning out at home and beating LSU on the road and then winning one Big 12 Tournament game, and…ok that sounds pretty believable but remember they’d also have to win it once they got there, and they’ve been actively getting worse. KenPom’s projecting a 3-15 final record in the Big 12 from these guys. Texas Tech’s off our list.

Who replaces them? Sometimes, the obvious answer is all around you. New Mexico 1) is one of Fran Fraschilla’s former stops, 2) is currently coached by a living NIT champion in Richard Pitino, and 3) once made seven straight NIT’s (I’m just now realizing that Fraschilla’s admirable dedication to the NIT might be an attempt to make his own career look better, and I love this for all of us). Lobos? Welcome to the list. You’re good enough. You’re bad enough. You’re exactly the kind of team we need around these parts.

The Tractor Boys Spell Trouble

Terrible news for Burnley’s FA Cup match on Saturday, as I’ve just learned their opponent, Ipswich Town, is nicknamed the Tractor Boys. I’m picturing the Mini Ditkas idea from SNL but it’s Mini Derrick Henrys and they’re playing soccer. I will have a nightmare tonight, but at least it will be the giggling kind.

In other Burnley news, they finally signed that guy from Swansea. I assume it’s the same guy. The one they wanted last summer, was that a thing? Obafemi? Striker? Sounds like they’ve got him on a loan–to–buy deal.

Love that the Burnleys are in a place where they’re picking up good players from within their own league and loaning their own guys out to worse teams in their own league. Power position. And yes, I’ve asked the question internally of whether Burnley should try to stay in the Championship forever. Real Steven’s Last Night in Town vibes at some point with that, though.

The Mandolesian

We are headed for either a remarkable Sens-ing soon or a thorough disaster. Most likely, both. Probably an 8-7 shootout win over the Canadiens on Saturday.

Cam Talbot’s out for at least a few weeks with a lower body injury, leaving last night’s game, and with Mads Søgaard hurt down at Belleville, Kevin Mandolese is getting called back up. 22 years old, AHL backup with an .886 save percentage over twelve games. Honestly, I think this ends well for the Sens. I think it works out. Nice win last night, too.

**

The menu for today:

9:00 PM EST: Colorado @ Oregon (P12N)

There’s a problem with the NCA* *********t in which games between teams comfortably in the field dramatically pale in significance if they aren’t for anything more than a seed line or so. How does the NIT address this? Home court and also the threat of having to face a way better team if you’re unseeded than your counterparts out east, because there are expected to be a lot more teams in the tournament out east (demographics) and therefore it’ll be easier to make the competitive matchups fair. Out west? You could be the 17th overall seed and have to go play the top seed on their home court in the first round.

Anyway, Colorado and Oregon are two of our most solid NIT teams right now, but that doesn’t mean this doesn’t matter. Entirely the opposite, in fact. Game of the NITe.

7:00 PM EST: Iowa @ Michigan State (FS1)
9:00 PM EST: Purdue @ Michigan (FS1)
11:00 PM EST: Arizona @ Washington State (FS1)

We see you, FS1. We see you putting three good basketball games on in a row, all with potential NIT implications. We see you dominating the Thursday evening programming tonight. And we appreciate it.

8:30 PM EST: Seattle @ Sam Houston State (ESPN+)

Gettin’ WACky!

Seattle is presently unbeaten in WAC play. Sam Houston State is presently 5-3 in WAC play, but they’re still the top team on paper. Do the Bearkats reestablish themselves as a championship contender? Or are they left trying to thread the NIT at-large needle?

We make a lot of fun of the WAC for being a ponzi scheme, but we must admit: They’re a good league this year. Right there with the ACC among the mid-majors.

9:00 PM EST: UCLA @ USC (ESPN2)
11:00 PM EST: Arizona State @ Washington (ESPNU)
11:00 PM EST: Utah @ Oregon State (P12N)

Games I’ll be watching with a magnifying glass, trying to parse NIT potential (the magnifying glass doesn’t help do this, and in fact makes it very difficult to follow the game, but it’s a compelling bit), high-major edition.

7:00 PM EST: SMU @ Memphis (ESPN2)
7:00 PM EST: MTSU @ FAU (CBSSN)
7:00 PM EST: Coastal Carolina @ James Madison (ESPN+)
7:00 PM EST: Louisiana-Monroe @ Marshall (ESPN+)
9:00 PM EST: UTSA @ North Texas (ESPNU)
9:00 PM EST: Louisiana Tech @ UAB (CBSSN)
10:00 PM EST: Portland @ Loyola Marymount (assuming WCCN)

Games I’ll be watching with a magnifying glass, trying to parse NIT potential (the magnifying glass doesn’t help do this, and in fact makes it very difficult to follow the game, but it’s a compelling bit), mid-major edition.

7:00 PM EST: Stetson @ Liberty (ESPN+)
8:00 PM EST: Denver @ Oral Roberts (ORUSN)
9:00 PM EST: Utah Valley @ Southern Utah (ESPN+)
12:00 AM EST: UC-Santa Barbara @ Hawaii (ESPN+)

Games I’ll be watching with a magnifying glass, trying to parse NIT potential (the magnifying glass doesn’t help do this, and in fact makes it very difficult to follow the game, but it’s a compelling bit), low-major edition.

7:00 PM EST: Longwood @ Radford (ESPNU)

There’s something about those gyms in the hills that make me love the Big South. Can’t look away from this guy.

7:30 PM EST: Bulls @ Hornets (League Pass)

Remember the win streak? Those three games, I mean. Not the 1990s.

The world's biggest NIT fan. The world's preeminent Joe Kelly blogger. Once and future podcast host. Drinker of milk of all kinds. As seen on Twitter: @nit_stu
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