Ohio has a new license plate, and thank God, because look at the old one:
Yes, Ohio’s got a new plate, and after their old one was ranked 48th (my rankings), 50th (your rankings, 2020), and 34th (your rankings, 2021) out of our 51 ranked plates (we include D.C. because we like to laugh at them for being taxed), many are wondering where their new one stacks up. The answer? I’m not sure. Deliberations are ongoing. Let’s take a look, though:
It’s a good plate. It’s better than the first one they unveiled, where the plane was facing the wrong way (causing the state to reportedly recycle 35,000 plates). It’s much better than the last one. It’s very much in the Indiana mode of being, in which you lean into the state’s Heartland identity. There’s wheat—a nod to the state’s agricultural landscape. There’s a river—a nod to the state’s infamous waterways. There are skyscrapers—a nod to the fact that yes, there are cities in Ohio, obviously there are cities why else would the state feel so synonymous with Wendy’s rather than Cracker Barrel. There’s a dog—a nod to dogs. It captures Ohio well. Ohio’s a fine state. It’s a fine plate. Of course, it’s an escalation in the First in Flight war between Ohio and North Carolina, but even that’s great, because that’s a great war. The best war. Also, they, uh, named it? I guess the plate’s named “Sunshine in Ohio,” and guys, I just, I don’t think you have to name the license plate.
There are concerns. I assume the skyscrapers are buildings in Ohio but I cannot independently confirm that. Some have pointed out that the swing doesn’t appear to be hanging from a substantial-enough branch. I saw one guy complain that every state has the sun, but buddy, every state has everything Ohio has. What are you going to do, put something on it about the number of FBS football teams per capita? Show a bunch of federal money getting flushed down a Youngstown toilet because it’s better politically to lie to a city and tell it its industry can come back than allow it to go through a necessary stage of growth? Make it orange in honor of being the only state with NFL teams with orange helmets? (Most fun things about Ohio have to do with football—take, for example, the fact Youngstown State is named the Penguins.)
Regardless, solid plate. And most importantly, good on Ohio for doing something to get rid of the old atrocity. I never want to see that thing outside of rest stop wallpaper again. The good people of South Carolina will be relieved.
