Uh oh, folks. Some people died in water near Austin. You know what that means.
The latest deaths aren’t recent in any sense of the word relevant here. KXAN simply ran an article the other day on how seven people have died in Devil’s Cove on Lake Travis over the last ten or fifteen years. Party boat drownings. The kind of thing that happens when people are too drunk and are…near water. Being really drunk doesn’t mix well with being in or around things that can kill people. Be careful this Memorial Day Weekend.
Coincidentally, the autopsy report was released this week for Jason John, one of the “victims” of the Austin “serial killer.” John, for those not keeping up with this Internet Fad, is a big deal to those rooting for there to be a serial killer. There haven’t been very many deaths in Lady Bird Lake. John’s is one of them. Something like 15% of the TikTok Conspiracy Brigade’s case rests on the fact his body was found in the water downtown. So, it was presumably a little devastating to those of these creeps who actually read information on their content when the report, in addition to highlighting that yes, there was alcohol in John’s system, brought back up the heavily ignored detail that SOMEONE SAW HIM FALL INTO THE RIVER.
“According to reports, this 30-year-old man was witnessed by a transient bystander to be vomiting by the bank of Lady Bird Lake and then subsequently fall and submerge into the water in the early morning of February 5, 2023. After attempting to aid the decedent, the bystander went to a nearby hotel and contacted 911.” – The Autopsy Report
This is horribly sad. It’s horribly, horribly sad. A guy died, seemingly because he was drunk and fell into a body of water. It’s sad! That’s the point we and others have been trying to make, though. Death is sad. It’s not just entertainment fodder for chronically online white girls.
I don’t watch a lot of the TikToks or visit the Facebook group or know if there’s an Instagram page. I try to chirp from afar, because when I interact with this stuff at its source my blood turns into a bubbling lava of rage. But I would imagine there’s an aspiring makeup blogger somewhere in this city reading the headline of the KXAN Devil’s Cove piece and getting ready to drop an off-hand mention in her next exposé:
“Over the last five years, more than ten bodies have been found in Lady Bird Lake. *extra-suspicious voice* Not to mention those recent deaths at Lake Travis.”
