Just when you thought your playoff anticipation couldn’t grow any more potent, Joe Kelly went and got a mysterious ailment. Here’s what we know, in a friendly, easy-to-navigate FAQ format:
Q. What’s going on?
A: Joe Kelly hasn’t pitched in a game since last Wednesday (the 18th). Initially, it was reported he had a “lower-body injury.” Now, it’s being described by manager Dave Roberts as an “overall body” situation.
Q. So he’s hurt?
A: It’s unclear. Per the Los Angeles Times, Kelly was asked if it was a particular injury, and he responded, “Not really, I guess. Body’s just not where I want it to be.” He added that he’s “a little tired” and that his body’s hampered “on certain movements that are related to pitching.”
Q. So he might be tired?
A: I mean, he said so. And back on September 8th, the Times reported he was dealing with “nagging soreness” in his legs, with Dave Roberts mentioning he was struggling to repeat his delivery—which, if you’re unfamiliar with the term, basically means he wasn’t able to execute the exact same mechanics on every pitch he threw.
Q. That’s kind of weird.
A: Not a question, but yes, kind of weird.
Q: Do you think he’s ok?
A: I do think he’s ok. It sounds like he isn’t one hundred percent, but Roberts has said that if the playoffs were today, Kelly would be pitching.
Q: Do you think it wears him out to throw all those 100-mph fastballs?
A: Probably. That’s really fast.
Q: Yeah, really fast.
A: Yeah.
Q: Is it possible there’s something wrong with his nuts?
A: I’ve seen this a bit on The Internet™, because anytime there’s a mysterious ailment with a man, we societally turn to the nuts, but I’m not sure. Per the report yesterday, our hero’s dealt with this issue before, but didn’t experience it in 2018. He also indicated it wasn’t going to magically go away, suggesting whatever’s going on, he’s familiar enough with it that he has an idea of what to expect. It’s possible it’s personal (genital, intestinal, autoimmune, mental, etc.), and that’s why they’re keeping it so vague. If it is, we should respect his privacy.
Q: Ok, I’ll respect his privacy, but one last question: What’s your best guess as to what’s going on, and how will he perform in the playoffs?
A: Best guess is that it’s either a personal issue we shouldn’t pry about or just a fatigue thing. As far as his performance in the playoffs goes, his velocity’s been fairly constant, so I’m still expecting blazing fastballs, dazzling knuckle-curves, and a roller coaster changeup here and there, all with the narrative benefit of him stepping up and pitching through something mysterious. However, should the Joe Kelly Hype Zone have to become the Joe Kelly Spin Zone (heavens forbid), we will definitely be talking not about any runs allowed, but rather about how gutsy it was that he was even out there.
Q: Noted. Thanks.
A: No, reader. Thank *you.*
