Ok, so here’s the deal with what happened yesterday in Nashville:
SOMEONE LET A LOT OF RACECARS LOOSE ON THE STREET!
Just kidding. Well, technically that did kind of happen. But it was planned.
I have been surprised by marathons multiple times in my life. Once, I was woken up by the sounds of one below my friend’s fire escape in San Francisco after being out until 3 or 4 AM drinking a significant number of beers. Once, I was trying to get to church here in Austin and the roads around my apartment were closed. I would imagine a decent number of people in Nashville yesterday got all sorts of bamboozled by the IndyCar race going on, including hopefully a few bachelorette parties trying to do a big sendoff after the bride made everyone take at least half a day off work and fly back Monday morning.
So consider that in the background. Then, consider that they just did not make the street wide enough for an IndyCar race back when they built the city of Nashville (terrible foresight, Nash, but I guess that’s why I’m sitting here blogging about you and you’re dead and in the ground somewhere). It was crowded. It was hard for the field to get going on restarts. There were a lot of restarts because, again, it was crowded. Add all that together, and Hot Wheels shit happens:
Now get this: That dude who flew in the air? Marcus Ericsson? He won the race! He ended up winning! I don’t know how. Must have had something to do with red flags and repair rules. Colton Herta crashed late, which helped.
Other funny crowded things:
Looks like my toilet after eating two frozen pizzas in a night AM I RIGHT??? And then there’s this:
In the end, the standings weren’t too shaken up, (Though Herta winning could have conceivably kept him alive? I don’t know, I have a hard time with the IndyCar standings.) and we got this graphic where Marcus Ericsson looks exactly like a man who just won despite hitting the throttle much too early and nearly decapitating the world:
All around, hilarious performance by IndyCar. I hope they keep finding cities to do this in and get the streets progressively smaller, so eventually they’re driving over cobblestones in Boston while drunk Red Sox fans are confused as hell and Marcus Ericsson is destroying federal landmarks.
gfaw