Crows Have Taken Over Seattle’s Psyche

There was an article yesterday on something called MyNorthwest about how deeply crows are in Seattle’s collective head. That wasn’t what it thought it was about, of course. Its headline was: ‘They exploit us supremely’: How to stay safe during peak of Seattle crow season. But that’s what it was about. Seattle is scared of its crows.

A few good passages from it:

“Should you manage to get on the bad side of a crow, there could be long-term consequences.”

“…The best recourse for anyone dealing with crow attacks is to avoid antagonizing them, wear a hat for added protection, and stay calm if they do fly at you.”

“They’re not going to gang up on you like on Tippi Hedren and kill you.”

You love to see it. You love to see America’s 18th-largest city completely at the mercy of our winged friends the crows. You love to know that Seattleites are going to bed at night trying to figure out how to eat a sandwich outdoors without a crow, under the guise of protecting their offspring (you think crows don’t know about the Gulf of Tonkin incident?), smacking them in the back of the head. You love to know people are wearing hats simply because crows told them to. This is wonderful news. Can only hope they expand their reign to include Tacoma next.

NIT fan. Joe Kelly expert. Milk drinker. Can be found on Twitter (@nit_stu) and Instagram (@nitstu32).
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