Sometime after seeing Tony Wolters attempt a delayed steal of home in a 25-run baseball game, and a shorter time after remembering the fart tweet, I had an idea.
You know how Anthony Rizzo’s called Tony now and then? As in, Tony Two Chains?
Well.
Anthony Rizzo’s a lot bigger than Tony Wolters. Five inches taller. 45 pounds heavier. He, like Wolters, likes to smile. He, like Wolters, likes to steal bases. He, like Wolters, again, is called Tony.
I’m not advocating for Tony Wolters to bat in front of Rizzo in the lineup, or to even necessarily stay on the roster if Austin Romine comes back and Wolters staying on the roster doesn’t make sense.
I am advocating for Anthony Rizzo and Tony Wolters to start a buddy-cop shtick where they call themselves Big Tony and Little Tony and, I don’t know, pull pranks or something like that. Haven’t thought about what they should do, really. But Big Tony and Little Tony. I think there’s something there.
I love this. And then if (when?) the rumored Joe Kelly trade goes through they should call him Big Joe just because.
Yes! To describe his presence.