“You’re a Grand Old Flag” Is a Bop

Flag Day doesn’t get enough love, which is to say that the boppest of bops, You’re a Grand Old Flag, doesn’t get enough love. I mean, listen to this thing:

Just a jam. Things you can do with it include:

• Insert clapping, beginning with two claps each in the aftermath of “emblem of…” and “land I love…”, escalating to four claps in the aftermath of “and the brave…”, and you know what, I should really just post a video of the proper clapping for this song sometime. Maybe put together sheet music. It’s important to get it right.
• Put it on full blast in the morning when everyone’s hungover at a bachelor party and hide your phone so it’s hard for anyone to change it.
• Try to start a parade through an office while singing it.
• Try to start a parade through your city’s streets while singing it.
• Ask people when the last time was they started a parade while singing “You’re a Grand Old Flag” when they try to brag about their love for the flag (then point out that the song specifically mentions not bragging, then walk away shaking your head).
• Request it at a wedding reception.
• Put it on a mix CD for your crush.
• Learn the verses. Never sing them, but learn them anyway.
• Sing the descant at the end of the penultimate line.
• Earnestly mention the song’s Civil War roots when someone acts as though you’re being disingenuous.
• Brand your cattle with the song’s lyrics (so hard for them to get stolen this way).

Happy Flag Day to all of you. But most of all, to the flag.