Barry Bonds.
Wilt Chamberlain.
Peyton Manning.
The dairy cows of the great state of Wisconsin.
Cows in Wisconsin are having a banner season, producing so much milk that the dairy industry itself is physically incapable of handling it. As FOX6 Milwaukee and Bloomberg have recently covered, milk has been dumped directly into sewers this summer across the upper Midwest as labor shortages and a wastewater issue at a plant in Hastings, Minnesota have combined with the sensationally prodigious output of our nation’s premier cheese-producing udders to send both milk’s price and milk itself down the gutter. Excerpted from those links:
“You add them up, the declined demand factors, we’re talking 45 to 50 trailer loads a day, 6,000 to 7,000 gallons each, and there is no home for that milk.” – Pete Hardin, editor and publisher of The Milkweed
“(They’re) unable to get other plants to take the milk because they have all the milk they need.” – Bob Cropp, professor emeritus and dairy marketing specialist at UW-Madison
“It’s not common in the upper Midwest at all. The last time this happened was a little bit at the beginning of the pandemic, and before that, it was almost unheard of.” – John Umhoefer, executive director of the Wisconsin Cheese Makers Association
(Say John Umhoefer in your best Minnesota/Wisconsin/Fargo accent. Say the other two names too. It’s a blast.)
Yes, this is bad for the dairy industry. But also, it’s really good? And regardless of how good or bad it is, it is impressive. Cows are doing so much work that their product is going straight to the sewage treatment plant. Imagine if you were having that kind of year at your job.
So please, when you think of incredible single season performances, don’t just think of the McGwire vs. Sosa home run race or Wayne Gretzky in 1986. Think of the cows of Wisconsin in the summer of 2023, the divine bovines who just could not shut off the spigot.
