Today, a good friend of the blog tweeted at someone named Panera Brad. Who’s the good friend, you ask? Well, his Twitter account is private, so I can’t share the tweet here, but he’s a longtime reader and an occasional contributor. He’s got an opinion on eggnog and he may or may not have dirt on Howie Kendrick. You know. That guy.
And who is Panera Brad?
Well, that’s the thing. Here’s the account:
And here’s the only tweet the account has ever tweeted:
Mysterious, right? What happened to the lemonade?? Did he add the full mix???
I did some digging through his followers and the accounts he follows. It was easy. There are only twelve of them, combined (thirteen, now—I just followed the account). True to his word, Brad loves sports, as evidenced by him following Hines Ward, Troy Polamalu, Mike the Miz, WWE, the Pittsburgh Steelers, the Pittsburgh Penguins, and Charlie Sheen (the other two he follows are Mac Miller and an account named Pittsburgh Batman that has also not tweeted for well over half a decade). He hasn’t liked any tweets, so it’s hard to say what else he might be into. Also curious if he’s been promoted yet or if he’s still hourly, or if he even still works at Panera.
Whatever the story, I hope Panera Brad’s doing well. And if you happen to know Panera Brad, please let him know I’ve enjoyed being mystified by him on The Internet™ today.
