My friend Kyle went to a Cubs/Marlins game last week. In the second inning, he texted me a picture of the Marlins lineup on the scoreboard, captioned:
Who are these people
Truth be told, I didn’t really know. Half of the position players were, at some level, known to me, but the other half were completely new figures. And the starting pitcher, someone with the last name Alcántara, felt vaguely familiar but really could have been anybody.
So let’s play a game: How many players on the Marlins’ active roster and 10-day IL do I know exist?
Here’s how it’ll work:
- I am given the last name of the player.
- If I accurately name the first name, I know who that player is.
- If I can’t name the first name, but can give a general description of who they are, I know who that player is.
- If I can do neither of those things, I don’t know who that player is.
We’ll start with the IL, which only has one guy on it right now, then move through the active roster in alphabetical order.
Last Name: O’Brien
Woof. No idea.
Player is first baseman/outfielder Peter O’Brien. He has 200 career plate appearances between the Diamondbacks and the Marlins, and has played in a total of seven organizations since the Yankees drafted him in the second round of the 2012 draft.
Score: 0 for 1.
Last Name: Alcántara
Sandy?
Bingo. Starting pitcher, came from the Cardinals in the Marcell Ozuna deal.
Score: 1 for 2.
Last Name: Alfaro
Anybody’s guess.
Jorge Alfaro. Catcher. He was really good on the Phillies last year before getting dealt to Miami as part of the J.T. Realmuto deal. Come on.
You’re right, I should have known that one. That’s on me, not on the Marlins.
Score: 1 for 3.
Last Name: Anderson
Brian! Good rookie last year! Outfielder?
Yes. Yes. Yes—also plays some third base.
Score: 2 for 4.
Last Name: Anderson
There’s another one?
Nick Anderson. Relief pitcher having a good start to the year. Traded from the Twins prior to the season. Rookie.
Score: 2 for 5.
Last Name: Berti
*silence*
Jon Berti. Rookie who got a few AB’s last year with the Blue Jays. Minor league free agent signing this offseason. Utility man.
Score: 2 for 6.
Last Name: Brice
*continued silence*
Austin Brice. Relief pitcher. First MLB player born in Hong Kong.
Score: 2 for 7.
Last Name: Castro
Starlin! My dude!
Yes, Starlin Castro. Former Cub. Your dude. As are many former Cubs.
Score: 3 for 8.
Last Name: Chen
Wei-Yin!
You got it. Moved to the bullpen this year. Taiwanese. Used to pitch for the Orioles.
Score: 4 for 9.
Last Name: Conley
Adam? Reliever? Maybe has come up in trade talks?
Yes. Yes. Used to be a starter. Was decent last year so probably.
Score: 5 for 10.
Last Name: Cooper
Nope.
Garrett Cooper. First base/outfield. Not a lot of innings under his belt.
Score: 5 for 11.
Last Name: Granderson
Curtis Granderson’s on the Marlins?? Or is there another Granderson out there?
Curtis indeed.
Score: 6 for 12.
Last Name: Guerrero
Only Guerrero I can think of is on the Blue Jays.
Tayron Guerrero. Was a rookie last year. Relief pitcher—fine at it.
Score: 6 for 13.
Last Name: Hernández
Don’t know him.
Elieser Hernández. Was up for a while last year. Just got called back up the other day.
Wait, I feel like that name’s familiar.
Might be. But he isn’t great so if it is familiar that’s kind of odd.
Score: 6 for 14.
Last Name: Herrera
Jonathan? Is that a person?
Yes, but he’s a free agent right now. This is Rosell Herrera. Outfielder. Not very good.
Score: 6 for 15.
Last Name: Kinley
Sounds like something a random name generator would say.
Yes, but that doesn’t count as knowing him. Tyler Kinley. Young relief pitcher. Not very promising. Was on the Twins for a little bit last year in April, so you actually might have watched him pitch.
Huh. Yeah, feel like I didn’t go to many Twins games in April but not sure.
Who knows, man.
Score: 6 for 16.
Last Name: López
Spruce, the third triplet from the Brook/Robin Lopez family.
Pablo López. He’s in the rotation.
You don’t say!
Actually pitching ok right now—just getting some bad luck.
Hope he turns it around.
You’re not alone.
Score: 6 for 17.
Last Name: Prado
Martín Prado!
Nailed it.
Score: 7 for 18.
Last Name: Ramírez
Lot of Ramírez’s out there.
Yes. This one’s Harold Ramírez. Outfielder. Just got called up.
Score: 7 for 19.
Last Name: Richards
Trevor. Saw him pitch in Atlanta last year. Ate dinner near people I’m guessing were his family because they were wearing Trevor Richards jerseys. Got rocked that night. Gets rocked a lot.
Yes.
Score: 8 for 20.
Last Name: Rojas
Miguel Rojas? Infielder?
Yes, he’s the Marlins starting shortstop.
Score: 9 for 21.
Last Name: Romo
Is that where Sergio Romo is these days?
Yes.
Score: 10 for 22.
Last Name: Smith
Caleb Smith, right? One of their starters?
Yes.
Score: 11 for 23.
Last Name: Ureña
José Ureña. Starting pitcher. Plunked Ronald Acuña last year.
Correct.
Score: 12 for 24.
Last Name: Wallach
That backup catcher dude.
Yes, Chad Wallach.
Score: 13 for 25.
Last Name: Walker
Is Neil Walker on the Marlins?
He is.
Who’d have thunk it.
Not you, that’s for sure.
I thought he was on some team in the Northeast.
Not this year.
But I still get credit, right?
Sure.
Score: 14 for 26.
