Full disclosure: The fantasy draft in question was yesterday. Publication was delayed because Joe (Stunardi, not Kelly) got himself into a little bit of a pickle with his NIT gambling and we needed all hands on deck. I wish I was joking.
I have never played fantasy baseball before. Never got asked, I guess. Got asked a couple weeks ago, and after staring at my phone screen for fifteen minutes trying to piece together a series of words that could be a team name (it was right around the time the NIT was starting and I was losing sleep worrying if Rick Pitino and I would have to settle scores), the only passable thing that came out was, “Nothin Smelly Bout Joe Kelly.” Which is fine. Inaccurate, but fine. The thing now, though, is that he has to be on my roster the whole year, which means I have to draft him, which means I have to figure out when to draft him. The options:
The First Round
I could come in hot. I could come in and make a statement with my first pick. I could come in and say, “Yeah, I’m a Joe Kelly fan, and I’m here to do something about it.” The thing with this is, I personally know less than half the guys in this league, and some of those I know only peripherally. Friends-of-friends kind of thing. I hold little ambition for myself in this arena (just trying to not draft someone who’s injured), but the first round pick would set me back, and it’s also kind of just going for the easy joke.
The Second Round
I like this one. Grab Trea Turner or someone in the first round (Trea Turner’s not hurt, right?) and then say, “Alright, let’s get serious. Joe Kelly time,” and go from there. My biggest concern with this one is getting lost in the bit and accidentally ending up only drafting my favorite players, many of whom are in platoon roles.
The Last Round
This is the conventional move. Make the last pick a token, like picking your team’s best prospect. I just think Joe Kelly’s more than a token.
The Second-to-Last Round
There’s also this option, which feels solid at the moment. Get Joe Kelly on the squad, but do it in a way that makes clear he’s not a token. Nobody would ever use the second-to-last round for a token! That’s what the last round’s for!
Somewhere in the Middle
Could also just sneak it in somewhere, when no one’s paying attention. Then, when they notice my team name, they might think, “But is Joe Kelly on his roster?” at which point they will check and learn that yes, Joe Kelly is on my roster, I drafted him in the first bench round.
***
TBD (note: again, publishing this late, went with the Second-to-Last Round strategy, Joe [Stunardi]’s gambling situation turned out fine but not good)
