College Gameday’s in town this weekend. LSU’s playing at Texas. One of those games that’s so good it reminds all of us how our love of college football supersedes any disgust we have with the NCAA.
Too bad one of the nation’s largest carriers will have bad reception in some of the most happenin’ parts of town.
Yes, an area including the ever-popular Rainey Street is nearly a dead zone right now for AT&T, and according to someone I spoke with on the phone yesterday, it’s expected to stay that way until Monday. Why?
Well.
If you don’t regularly read this website, you might be unaware that my fantasy football season is under attack. It started with a hitdog, who bit my neighbor and made me spend the day in the hospital while she got stiches, instead of preparing for a draft. Then three cell towers went down in my neighborhood the same weekend I had to execute multiple drafts under pressure. And while I at first thought the dog was sent by someone in my league, I realized, with the cell towers, that I’d been wrong.
I implied it the other day. I’m saying it now. The NCAA has escalated our feud: the feud that’s existed spiritually since they started promoting their pet postseason basketball tournament over the more selective, more historic, more handsome NIT, and has existed on the pages of The Internet™ since March 2017, when I launched my career as an NIT blogger, clawing back its dignity from the oppression of perverted bureaucrats. It’s a feud in which they don’t know I exist, and one in which I accuse them of being responsible for every mild inconvenience in my life. They took it to a new level last weekend. And now they’re about to pay.
If you’re an LSU fan making the trip to Austin, or a college football fan here to witness a big game, or just a good, God-fearing Texan trying to have a good time, I apologize on behalf of my enemy for the hassles you’ll have trying to communicate on Rainey or the East Side. I didn’t choose this. I fought fair. I spared civilians.
Let history show that they did not.
