Last night, I drove to my friend James’ birthday party. It was a calculated decision to drive and not buy a ride. I’d messed up my back earlier in the day trying to do laundry, and I don’t have all that much money, so staying sober, keeping it affordable, and getting a decent night of sleep all sounded pretty nice.
James likes drinking games, though. He loves them, in fact. It’s one of many charming things about James. And since there were an even eight of us, my forgoing flip cup would have caused matchup problems.
I said I’d play with water. But Ben (James’ roommate, a good guy with an even better beard), had a better idea.
It turns out Ben had a fresh quart of the good stuff in the fridge. By good stuff, I of course mean milk. He even had some dunkers to go with it, but that’s beside the point. The point is that I played about a pint’s worth of flip cup with milk. Here’s what it taught me:
Always Keep Paper Towels Handy
Normal games of flip cup involve the playing surface slowly becoming wetter. Normally, that’s not a big deal, but milk, unlike beer, is not translucent. When the little bit left in the cup flips down onto the counter, you can see it. It’s more than a handkerchief can handle, which is yet another reason we should all keep a roll of paper towels on our person at all times.
It Feels Like More Milk When Taken in Small Doses
I often drink about a pint of milk for breakfast. This, though, made my tummy fuller than breakfast does. It may have had something to do with the piece of pie I’d eaten earlier, and the piece of cake, and the mac and cheese, and all those fritos, and the mac-less cheese, and the crackers I used to wash down the mac-less cheese, and the one beer I responsibly drank, but whatever the cause, boy, was I full by the end of the night.
Milk Makes for a Comfortable Full
One of the great things about milk, though, is it doesn’t give you heartburn. It doesn’t make you feel like you’re going to explode (maybe more of it would, but I haven’t had that much yet). It’s pretty easy on the stomach, overall. Unless you’re lactose intolerant, I suppose. Or you just haven’t gotten your body used to drinking multiple pints of milk a day.
The Things that Concern Some People Really Impress Others
Whether someone’s concerned or impressed by your milk consumption can tell you a lot about that person.
Dunkers Are Great
I knew this, but boy, did it feel good to be reminded between games. Man.
