Bowl game sponsorships have gotten out of hand, ruining tradition and cheapening the college football experience. The best retain their original names, keeping any sponsors to the side. The worst have completely given up their names (R.I.P. Copper Bowl). In the middle, the sponsor and the bowl name mix, confusing you as to what’s really happening and making the name eight words long.
Thankfully for you, and for college football, we were courageous enough to ask the question: What if every bowl went back to its God-given name? Oh, and also what if we changed “Bowl” to “Bowel” within that name. The result? They all sound like diseases or the romantic pet names of a sick freak.
Disease-sounding bowls-turned-bowels:
- Bahamas Bowel
- Cure Bowel
- Fenway Bowel
- Celebration Bowel
- Las Vegas Bowel
- LA Bowel
- Mobile Alabama Bowel
- New Mexico Bowel
- Frisco Bowel
- Myrtle Beach Bowel
- Famous Idaho Potato Bowel (I prefer Famous Idaho Potato to Humanitarian)
- Boca Raton Bowel
- New Orleans Bowel
- Armed Forces Bowel (I can’t choose Fort Worth Bowel here, it’s Armed Forces Bowel, because I support the troops)
- Independence Bowel
- Gasparilla Bowel (I think of the St. Petersburg Bowel as the game that used to happen at Tropicana Field)
- Hawaii Bowel
- Motor City Bowel (since the Quick Lane Bowel is the spiritual successor to the Little Caesars Pizza Bowel, we go back to the original Little Caesars Pizza Bowel name)
- First Responder Bowel (because this is funnier than Heart of Dallas Bowel)
- Birmingham Bowel
- Copper Bowel (R.I.P. again, you didn’t deserve this)
- Military Bowel
- Liberty Bowel
- Holiday Bowel
- Texas Bowel
- Pinstripe Bowel
- Cheez-It Bowel (this should really be named the Tangerine Bowel, and should be below, but that’s a matter for another post)
- Duke’s Mayo Bowel (another purely sponsored bowl)
- Arizona Bowel
- Music City Bowel
- Outback Bowel (this took over from Hall of Fame Bowel—it’ll always be the Outback Bowel to me)
- Orange Bowel
- Sugar Bowel
- Fiesta Bowel
- Cotton Bowel
- College Football Playoff National Championship Bowel
Romantic-pet-names-of-a-sick-freak-sounding bowls-turned bowels:
- Camellia Bowel
- Alamo Bowel
- Sun Bowel
- Gator Bowel
- Citrus Bowel (this is the original Tangerine Bowel—weird that it’s had two good names, that’s rare)
- Peach Bowel
- Rose Bowel
Disagree on which belong in which category? Tell us, here or on Twitter or preferably not in person but hey, if you find us, that’s on us. We want to know.
