Developments continue to develop in the Bill Belichick/Jordon Hudson situation, and I agree that “situation” doesn’t seem like a big enough word to cover it. There are and have been a lot of situations. There are probably more situations on the way. Has Jordon Hudson always stylized her Instagram name JordOn? When did she remove the Taylor Swift song from that email screenshot Instagram post? Did PR firms put her up to this, trying to make themselves look valuable? “See, Jerry? This is what happens when you don’t sign with Ruder Finn Inc.”
We at The Barking Crow haven’t added much to the Jordon Hudson discourse. The only thing I’ve had to say is that she has vacant eyes, and that’s a mean thing to say, so I haven’t said it. Although. I do think that for all the judging we do of books by their covers, we still don’t put enough stock into the vacancy of a person’s eyes. Could mean they’re unhinged. Could mean they’re dumb. Often means something. The whole Theranos thing could have been avoided if someone had said, “My apologies, Miss Holmes, but there is an emptiness behind your face which belies something concerning. I know not if you are sinister in your nature, but I and my kind will be departing now.” I assume all Silicon Valley investors speak a little bit like British nobles.
Anyway:
- JordOn Hudson.
- Keep an eye on the Instagram edits.
- Vacant eyes are concerning. Different from a blank stare. We all stare blankly now and then, harrowed souls who’ve watched too much ACC football. We do not all have vacant eyes.
- College baseball needs to step it up and give us some storylines. There is an attention vacuum in college sports. The timing of this is unfortunate for those who were sick of the story days ago.
Why are we finally addressing all of this now? First, the vacant eyes. Second, I’ve been wanting to use this joke: “Bill Belichick? I call him Sully Sullenberger, cuz he’s deep inside the Hudson and folks are concerned for his safety.” Third, UNC plays on Labor Day against TCU. It’s the annual Monday night football game one week before Monday Night Football.
Runaway college football narrative connoisseurs might find TCU’s presence here strikes a specific chord. That’s because it’s a heavy-handed homage to the Deion Sanders phenomenon in 2023. In 2023, TCU—fresh off losing the national championship game by a handful of handfuls of touchdowns—welcomed Deion Sanders’s Colorado Buffaloes to Fort Worth. That was how all of that started. If TCU had taken care of business against Colorado, a whole lot of dumb stuff could have been avoided.
Are we going to get something similar in 2025? I have no idea. I don’t know if TCU’s going to be any good. Nobody knows if UNC’s going to be any good. If UNC wins, though? On the last night of college football’s Week 1? In the last game before the NFL kicks off and grabs its share of the oxygen? Chapel Hill better prepare to host College Gameday, and NFL bloggers better prepare to be asked if UNC could beat the Carolina Panthers.
Hopefully, if UNC does beat TCU, JorDon (that was an accident but I’m keeping it) handles it the same way Coach Prime handled beating TCU. To be honest, that seems possible. If her career as Bill Belichick’s girlfriend survives the last few weeks, she might only become emboldened. The media is your problem, JoRdon. Get ‘em.
(This is insufferable now, but it wouldn’t be the worst in-season subplot. The problem is that it’s the offseason, so it’s the main story.)
(I don’t think we talk enough about this Instagram post in which JordOn said “I am Jordon and I speak for the fishermen.” What a sentence that is.)
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