Ok, first of all, these countries don’t have Thanksgiving. Or at least, most of them don’t. Even the Canadians have theirs a month early, which is bullshit because that’s when Canada Day should be happening. What says Canada like pancakes on a crisp fall day? But I distract myself.
These countries don’t have Thanksgiving, and we can safely assume that if they did, it would be exactly like ours, meaning we aren’t going to go looking into what some French festive food is. They’re bringing stuffing. Everyone is bringing stuffing. The communication was terrible and every country invited to this hypothetical Thanksgiving dinner encountered the same itching fear that nobody else would bring stuffing if they didn’t do it. Someone get John Nash on the phone.
Ok, you want to hear what they all brought? Let’s go through, one by one (this is really an exercise in seeing if I remember who all is in the World Cup yet, and finding out the order in which I remember them, but don’t tell my uncle—he loves stuffing):
- England: Stuffing
- Wales: Stuffing
- United States: Stuffing
- Iran: I mean they put lamb in it (a lamb, a single lamb) but stuffing
- Saudi Arabia: Stuffing (storebought)
- Qatar: Stuffing (don’t ask)
- Japan: Stuffing
- France: Stuffíng
- Spain: Stuffing
- Argentina: Stuffing!
- Brazil: Stuffing.
- Mexico: Stuffing…since you asked
- Cameroon: Stuffing, of course
- Ghana: Stuffing
- Tunisia: Stuffing
- Morocco: Stuffing, but with a lot of pizzaz
- Germany: Stuffing, took it very seriously and to be fair did a good job
- Australia: Stuffing
- Canada: Canadian stuffing (it’s just ham)
- Ecuador: Stuffing
- Uruguay: Stuffing
- Netherlands: Stuffing
- Denmark: Stuffing
- Portugal: Stuffing
- Senegal: Stuffing
- Belgium: Stuffing
- Hmm…six left.
- Costa Rica: Stuffing
- Do you think they ever do a World Cup of states?
- Poland: Stuffing, and it’s great
- Golly. Four left. I’m so close. Haven’t looked it up yet.
- Switzerland: Stuffing
- Serbia: Stuffing
- Croatia: Stuffing
- WOW! One more. That was a roll. Wish you all could have seen me. I was thinking really hard and then I thought of Switzerland and that made me think of Serbia because of the S’s and Serbia made me think of Croatia because of the Balkans. Now, just the one more. But what is it?
- Not China…
- Not New Zealand…
- Definitely not Russia…
- I think I got all four from CONCACAF
- I’m pretty convinced Chile isn’t in this
- Austria? It’s not Austria, is it? I don’t think it’s Austria.
- What Asian countries are in it? Do Iran and Qatar count? Does Australia somehow?
- South Korea!!!!!!!!!!!
- South Korea: Stuffing
