It’s now been six months since Eminem died, and I think it’s time we asked the question:
Was he ever alive in the first place?
I first heard of the one allegedly named Marshall Mathers when I was perhaps four or five years old, and he was allegedly 26 or 27. He was a rapper, or so I was told: told implicitly by things like my brother’s boombox and, I don’t know, probably a kid at preschool or something.
But what else did I believe when I was four or five years old?
- I believed I was an ornithomimus.
- I believed Sammy Sosa was not using PED’s.
- I believed Pokémon was communist.
- I believed A Bug’s Life was the greatest movie of all time.
And it turned out only one or two of those things was true (jury’s out on A Bug’s Life vs. Groundhog Day).
By 2002, the potential myth of Eminem was up on the silver screen in the form of 8 Mile, a movie that, according to Wikipedia, is fictional, something we already could’ve gathered because it’s a movie and all movies are fictional, as anyone who’s seen March of the Penguins can tell you.
So look.
I’m not saying Eminem wasn’t real.
I’m just asking if Eminem was real.
