“I only had two things I wanted at our wedding: A cowboy hatmaker, so we can have custom cowboy hats for everybody who wants them. And then I wanted a cigar-roller. So there will be a person live cigar-rolling.” – Ryan Blaney, on his wedding.
We complain sometimes about how many NASCAR drivers have the same personality. There are two flavors of the personality—hairy and skinny—but even those have a lot of overlap (for example—Ryan Blaney has been known to grow big beards). I don’t know whether this is a bigger problem with the younger generation or if it just takes a long time to get to know these guys, but it feels familiar in NASCAR to get to know a guy in his 30’s, only to then see him retire early in his 40’s. According to that theory, we should just be getting to know Ryan Blaney. Or at least, we should be locking in our perception.
Who is Ryan Blaney, then? Well, here’s the thing. Ryan Blaney isn’t unique. He’s not unlike other NASCAR drivers. This should be boring, but it’s not. Because the thing about Ryan Blaney is that he isn’t an imitation of a NASCAR archetype. He is the NASCAR archetype. Great hair. Slight accent. Patriot. Marrying a Hooters hall-of-famer. And per that interview with Jeff Gluck we quoted above, he only wants two things at his wedding: Cowboy hats and cigars. What could be more NASCAR?
For a while, Ryan Blaney’s marketed personality was “guy who likes Star Wars.” This was endearing and all, but it felt like the dorky NASCAR equivalent of that phenomenon five years ago where 22-year-old women’s Hinge profiles said they liked The Office. Blaney’s gotten good enough since then (and also started dating a Hooters hall-of-famer) that his new marketed personality became “nice guy who is good at NASCAR (and is marrying a Hooters hall-of-famer).” I think NASCAR should take it one step further. Say it out loud. Ryan Blaney is NASCAR. If you picture NASCAR in your head, you picture Ryan Blaney.
“I’m just waiting for the day when they put someone on stage with a guitar and a mic and let them have at it.” – Ryan Blaney, on the National Anthem at the Super Bowl.
Other NASCAR news amidst the break:
- Spire is cutting Corey LaJoie loose after this year, and I think it’s happening with a year left on his contract. Owner Jeff Dickerson spoke highly of LaJoie in the post-firing statement, even saying he hopes they can help LaJoie find a ride for next year. Power move. Remember when Spire was running races with Quin Houff? There’s now at least a theoretical chance they might try to bring Kyle Busch over to work with Rodney Childers, who’ll be joining the team from Stewart-Haas. What a come up.
What If the Engine Was Max Verstappen’s Problem?
Red Bull is taking one of those “too many engines” penalties tomorrow, and what if the old engine was the problem the whole time? I know that isn’t how it works, but would sure be funny if Max Verstappen was suddenly unbeatable again. What if the engine was a little slow and nobody at Red Bull noticed?
Verstappen qualified fastest but will start eleventh tomorrow (Belgian Grand Prix at 9:00 AM EDT on ESPN, and yes, I do think F1 is trying to draft off the Olympics here by holding a race during the Olympics very close to France), with Charles Leclerc on the pole and Sergio Pérez second. Great line from Checo when asked if his confidence was building: “It’s not like I forgot how to drive.” Well then what happened, man?? Lewis Hamilton starts third. Lando Norris starts fourth. Qualifying was wet but the race will be dry.
In other Verstappen news, I’m glad we’re calling sim racing “video games” again. Have been seeing that a lot in the wake of the accusations Verstappen’s grumpiness last week stemmed from sim racing until 3 AM. I respect sim racing, but its fans can get carried away sometimes. Nice to bring them down to earth. Also! If Verstappen ever goes postal, we can blame video games without having to explain what we’re talking about.
More F1:
- In what I’m sure is a big development for devoted fans of his glasses, Mattia Binotto is coming back, signing on with Sauber/Audi as chief operating and technical officer. In other big management shifts there, Andreas Seidl and Oliver Hoffmann are out as CEO and chairman. Nico Hülkenberg will still be one of the drivers, and Carlos Sainz still kind of seems like he would be open to Audi but isn’t open to Sauber? I might be reading that situation wrong.
- Esteban Ocon’s landed an agreement with Haas for next year, while his current boss, Bruno Famin, is out as principal at Alpine because of how badly this season’s gone. Famin will stay on at Alpine, but his new job will be to, as speculated, wind down the team’s engine-building program. That’s how badly this season has gone. (Credit to the New York Times for finding a picture of Famin looking so sad.)
- Where does this leave us? If we trust Wikipedia (and I religiously do), seats remain open at Alpine, Sauber, Mercedes, RB, and Williams for 2025. In 2026, Wikipedia says George Russell’s seat could open at Mercedes and Yuki Tsunoda’s could open at RB. Five seats currently open for next year, seven theoretically open for 2026.
When Does IndyCar Come Back?
IndyCar, known for taking obscenely long breaks between races, will be back the weekend after the Olympics end, which is actually perfectly reasonable. Is the Bommarito Automotive Group 500 really a 500-mile race on a 1.25-mile track? I have not yet confirmed. For some reason, this has never stood out to me in the past when IndyCar goes to Gateway, but I don’t know if that means it’s new or if that just means I never put together how many laps 400 is. We have three weeks to find out.
