Ok, that headline ought to have gotten them out of here. The F1 diehards, I mean. Although, now that I think about it, those who are left are probably the more combative sort. Hmm. We may have only weeded out the meek. Well, we’re here now. Might as well say it.
I think F1 might be getting good again.
F1’s in Canada this weekend, and they’re in the French part, which is oddly both more Canadian than the English part of Canada and also more European. What does this imply about Canada, as a country? I’ll let you ask that question yourself.
Yes, F1’s in Montreal, the city named after the Montreal Expos, and there are stakes for the first time in about two years. Ferrari’s not that far behind Red Bull. McLaren’s not that far behind Ferrari. Charles Leclerc and Lando Norris and Carlos Sainz and Sergio Pérez are all at least within a couple races of Max Verstappen. It’s no Hamilton vs. Verstappen, but that wasn’t satisfying in the end anyway. This is drivers we casuals know, and with Ferrari and McLaren gaining ground on Red Bull lately, they have real chances to compete. This could get exciting before the summer is up. It could get exciting as early as tomorrow.
What do we do about this?
I think we stay quiet. I think we keep things at a distance. We here at Vroom Vroom will continue to monitor the proceedings, but we aren’t going to make a big fuss over them. If it’s a good race, it’s a good race. If the standings get really interesting, the standings get really interesting. If we do have to cling to something, it’s that F1’s set the bar so low that “Carlos Sainz is at least within a couple races of Max Verstappen” passes for excitement, so they can’t smoke us out just yet. But that’s what’s on deck this weekend. Canada. Junior Europe. Which implies something deeply troubling about the regions of the United States known as Junior Canada. And also implies something very confusing, given Canada is Junior America.
Other F1 news, before we get on to things happening within our borders:
- Red Bull extended Sergio Pérez. There is an implication in some of the coverage which says Max Verstappen doesn’t want a teammate who will beat him. Just an implication. Not seeing it stated outright. We’re winking. We’re nudging. We’re doing the French and Spanish and Dutch and Monaguesque (I was so close—it’s Monégasque) equivalents of those gestures.
- F1’s going to make the car smaller starting in 2026. They’re also changing DRS to something more like a turbo booster. But they’re keeping something kind of like DRS? I love the concept of a turbo booster. That’s what we’re after anyway. We all played that car game at the arcade machines at the pizza place. Give us Nitro!!
- I guess Lance Stroll still does F1. That was a question for me. I was going to guess no. Home race for Lance. Lance Stroll seems like a really big loser. I’ll say it. He does! I’m the only F1 follower who’s never watched Drive to Survive, which I say because there’s a chance everyone who’s watched it is saying What?? How can you dislike Lance Stroll??? The answer is that I know hardly anything about him. I jumped to a conclusion. Try it sometime.
Road America Kind of Looks Like Montreal
In that there are trees around.
Before we get to this weekend, last weekend in IndyCar:
- Scott Dixon didn’t get to play in the fountain.
- The Argentinians acted up afterwards.
To provide a little more detail, I forgot that they moved the Detroit Grand Prix off of that island and into the heart of the city. Also, Agustín Canapino’s fans went so overboard in their reaction to his collision with Théo Pourchaire that McLaren cut ties with Juncos Hollinger Racing, with whom it had evidently been partnering. It seems the breaking point may have been Canapino saying in what was supposed to be an apology that Pourchaire didn’t actually receive death threats, and that if he did then those threatening aren’t Argentinian. Checkmate, Théo. To be clear, I don’t know very much about this. I just think it’s funny to say “The Argentinians acted up.” I like this conceit that there’s a group of Argentinians involved in IndyCar who sometimes act up. Like squirrels in the walls. This is probably going to offend someone. Hopefully I don’t get any death threats from people I thought were Argentinian.
This weekend, IndyCar’s up at Road America, which only has one Culver’s within a five-mile radius but is close enough to Sheboygan to have four within a fifteen-mile radius. I like that it’s called Road America. It makes it seem bigger than just Sheboygan’s racetrack. Not that being Sheboygan’s racetrack is anything to be ashamed of. I do admire the audacity, though.
Who’s going to win? Obviously, I don’t know. Race hasn’t happened yet, idiot. Feel like Ganassi’s been quietly good while all the attention’s been on Team Penske for cheating and for winning the Indy 500. By the way—Josef Newgarden seems like a guy who’s either annoyingly into fantasy football or annoyingly not into football at all. There’s no way Josef Newgarden’s attitude towards football isn’t annoying. I bet he’s annoyingly into fantasy but also isn’t positive who the Titans’ current quarterback is. (I also am not positive who the Titans’ current quarterback is, but let’s keep that between you and me. Will Levis? Does he have the full-time job? What happened to Tannehill? Why do I get Tannehill and Ryan Mallett confused? Pour one out, man. For Mallett. I don’t get them that confused.)
More Left Turns, Please
Speaking of Team Penske, hilarious prank over in NASCAR to not give Ryan Blaney enough fuel last weekend. Screwed Blaney, screwed whoever doesn’t make the playoffs because Austin Cindric’s in. Interesting that Cindric’s dad’s such a big deal over on the IndyCar side of the operation. Interesting.
The NASCARs are at Sonoma this weekend, and I think everyone’s so focused on figuring out how to save short tracks that we’ve temporarily given up on making road courses exciting with the NextGen car. Which means this is going to be about qualifying and limiting mistakes and pit timing, like a fucking F1 race. A really, really long F1 race. Ugh. Hopefully Ross Chastain does that thing he did in…2021, I think?…where he cuts that one hairpin that’s paved the whole way through. That was the first time I knew Ross Chastain was a goof. By the time he took the alternate route at IMS, it wasn’t a surprise anymore. It was only a question of how far he’d go. The answer, of course, was the Hail Melon.
Sonoma! Easy to confuse with Sonora. Very different places, I’m told.
Again, hard to say who will win without knowing how the race ends. I do think Kyle Busch might pull some shit. He seems antsy.
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More next Thursday. We’re doing it weekly, guys. You read it enough, you get it biweekly, but right now, Vroom Vroom is a weekly exercise.
