Terrible news:
We get it, Valpo. You guys like weather or something. Cool. You nerds. Even the engineering school in Indiana (yeah, I know, you have some engineers too and Rose-Hulman exists but really nobody and I mean nobody nobody cares about that) was smart enough to spinzone themselves into being train engineers. You guys want to be called the Lightning? Are you a nine-year-old travel baseball team? Do you wear a bunch of Phiten necklaces and blame groundouts on your batting gloves?
There were a few reasonable nicknames Valpo could have chosen. I’m told Koalas were under consideration. That is amazing. I’m assuming somebody else thought of Velociraptors. That’s alliterative and very cool. They could have gone with Giants, honoring the “World’s Tallest Team” from 1945. I mean, I’m glad they’re not just becoming another Wildcats team, but these are lame names, guys. Pick something cool. It’s not too late to go back.
