The trade deadline is coming up, and I want to see some pranks. Here’s a starter set:
The Rays Should: Trade for Blake Snell, then immediately trade him away again.
You’ve got the farm system heft to make a few prank trades, and the Padres aren’t in your league anyway (also maybe it helps ‘em beat the Dodgers down the line who knows). Troll Snell. Troll him.
The Orioles Should: Trade Adley Rutschman for Aaron Nola.
This one’s good because it’d be a prank both on Orioles fans (The future? Gone.) and on the NL East, because it would solve all sorts of payroll problems for the Phillies while gifting them a massive chip. Ultimately, though, it would be a prank on Rutschman, who would be stuck behind J.T. Realmuto for the foreseeable future.
The Dodgers Should: Trade Cody Bellinger for a Taco Bell franchise.
This would get the people going. A local Taco Bell owner gets Cody Bellinger, the Dodgers get their own Taco Bell franchise. Lawyers would have to get involved. Bellinger would love it.
The Angels Should: Trade every player in their system away for nothing.
“That’s it. We’re done. We couldn’t make it work with Mike Trout. We failed. We are folding. See you guys never.”
The Cardinals Should: Trade Mike Shildt for Tony La Russa.
Solves all sorts of problems. Except for the Cardinals’ problems. Those would presumably increase a little bit.
The Blue Jays Should: Trade Vladimir Guerrero Jr. for Emmanuel Macron.
I don’t really know how this works, but I think it would hurt the Blue Jays, which would be the prank.
The Cubs Should: Trade Anthony Rizzo for Kyle Schwarber.
Heads would melt.
