Yesterday, the Tournament of the Worst began with the first half of first round voting. Today, voting will continue with the rest of the first round, wrapping up around 4:30 PM EDT tomorrow (Wednesday), at which point we’ll move on to the second round.
Full results below, but here is the updated bracket:
Sorry for the blur—we’re putting a clearer image on Twitter.
And here are the three ways to cast your ballot (and yes, you’re allowed to use all three, but be cool about it):
This Google Form:
https://forms.gle/ZMuDG27qcyiiFL1n6
Our Instagram Stories:
www.instagram.com/thebarkingcrow
This Twitter Thread:
Now, yesterday’s results:
Mosquitos defeat Feral Hogs, 40-4
Instagram: Mosquitos 14, Feral Hogs 3
Twitter: Mosquitos 22, Feral Hogs 1
Google Form: Mosquitos 4, Feral Hogs 0
No surprises here. Feral Hogs, while bad, are a regional bad. Mosquitos find a way to torment us all (or at least a lot more of us).
Slow Drivers defeat Fast Drivers, 33-12
Instagram: Slow Drivers 14, Fast Drivers 4
Twitter: Slow Drivers 16, Fast Drivers 7
Google Form: Slow Drivers 3, Fast Drivers 1
“You will not always have fast drivers with you,” the man said, “but slow drivers will remain longer than your worst expectation.”
The College Tuition Bubble defeats Meetings, 26-18
Instagram: The College Tuition Bubble 12, Meetings 5
Twitter: The College Tuition Bubble 12, Meetings 11
Google Form: The College Tuition Bubble 2, Meetings 2
Time is money, but tuition is a *lot* of money.
Mold defeats Boredom, 35-9
Instagram: Mold 17, Boredom 2
Twitter: Mold 15, Boredom 6
Google Form: Mold 3, Boredom 1
Not much redeeming about mold. Or boredom, I guess. Bad point by me.
The NCAA defeats the Houston Astros, 23-17
Instagram: The Houston Astros 9, The NCAA 6
Twitter: The NCAA 15, The Houston Astros 6
Google Form: The NCAA 2, The Houston Astros 2
In a split decision, general and continued manipulation and doublespeak defeat indignant defense of cheating.
Diarrhea defeats Constipation, 22-21
Instagram: Diarrhea 9, Constipation 9
Twitter: Diarrhea 11, Constipation 10
Google Form: Diarrhea 2, Constipation 2
One of four matchups yesterday decided by just one vote. The debate we think we want to hear, but don’t actually want to hear.
Body Odor defeats Obsolete Liquor Laws, 31-12
Instagram: Body Odor 12, Obsolete Liquor Laws 6
Twitter: Body Odor 16, Obsolete Liquor Laws 5
Google Form: Body Odor 31, Obsolete Liquor Laws 12
We can work around the liquor laws. Body odor is harder to confront (assuming it’s someone else’s).
Elevator Problems defeat Robocalls, 23-22
Instagram: Elevator Problems 12, Robocalls 8
Twitter: Robocalls 12, Elevator Problems 9
Google Form: Elevator Problems 2, Robocalls 2
A nuisance is not as bad as sheer terror. Interesting.
Cable News defeats Tabloids, 28-14
Instagram: Cable News 13, Tabloids 4
Twitter: Cable News 12, Tabloids 9
Google Form: Cable News 3, Tabloids 1
Just FYI: You can vote for Cable News without feeling like you’re disrespecting hard-working and important journalists. Cable News is not (usually) about important journalism.
Melted Candy defeats Wet Paint, 37-7
Instagram: Melted Candy 17, Wet Paint 2
Twitter: Melted Candy 16, Wet Paint 5
Google Form: Melted Candy 4, Wet Paint 0
As one voter said (it was me—I am this voter), “Melted candy grosses me out to a degree to which I considered voting against it so I could stop thinking about it.”
Car/House/Apartment Problems defeat Computer Problems, 31-12
Instagram: Car/Home Problems 15, Computer Problems 3
Twitter: Car/Home Problems 13, Computer Problems 8
Google Form: Car/Home Problems 3, Computer Problems 1
Noted.
Comcast defeats AT&T, 33-8
Instagram: Comcast 14, AT&T 3
Twitter: Comcast 16, AT&T 4
Google Form: Comcast 3, AT&T 1
Remind me to tell you all a funny story about when I was confirming that AT&T upsets lots of customers and not just me.
Allergies defeat Stepping in Something Bad, 27-14
Instagram: Allergies 12, Stepping in Something Bad 5
Twitter: Allergies 13, Stepping in Something Bad 7
Google Form: Allergies 2, Stepping in Something Bad 2
Yeah, this makes sense.
Thinkpieces about Generations defeat Other People’s Farts, 21-20
Instagram: Other People’s Farts 10, Thinkpieces about Generations 7
Twitter: Thinkpieces about Generations 11, Other People’s Farts 9
Google Form: Thinkpieces about Generations 3, Other People’s Farts 1
Same thing am I right?
Sunburn defeats Black Ice, 22-21
Instagram: Sunburn 9, Black Ice 9
Twitter: Sunburn 11, Black Ice 10
Google Form: Sunburn 2, Black Ice 2
A thriller.
