The First Round of the Tournament of the Worst has been completed. Here’s your bracket:
Voting for the Second Round begins now, and lasts until about 7:00 PM EDT tomorrow (Thursday). As always, there are the three ways to cast your ballot (and yes, you’re allowed to use all three, but be cool about it):
This Google Form:
https://forms.gle/eeykYk77NFnNPaMS9
Our Instagram Stories:
www.instagram.com/thebarkingcrow
This Twitter Thread:
Now, yesterday’s results:
Stubbing Your Toe defeats Falling Over, 26-5
Instagram: Stubbing Your Toe 14, Falling Over 5
Twitter: Stubbing Your Toe 10, Falling Over 0
Google Form: Stubbing Your Toe 2, Falling Over 0
Not a surprise. Varying levels of pain with Falling Over.
Burnt Food defeats Spills, 16-11
Instagram: Burnt Food 9, Spills 7
Twitter: Burnt Food 5, Spills 4
Google Form: Burnt Food 2, Spills 0
Some disagreement here, but a clear victory for burnt food. Or loss. Depends which way we’re talking.
Watery Coffee defeats Thin Toilet Paper, 16-15
Instagram: Watery Coffee 10, Thin Toilet Paper 9
Twitter: Watery Coffee 5, Thin Toilet Paper 5
Google Form: Watery Coffee 1, Thin Toilet Paper 1
*raises eyebrows, purses lips*
Parking Tickets defeat Long Stoplights, 27-4
Instagram: Parking Tickets 17, Long Stoplights 2
Twitter: Parking Tickets 8, Long Stoplights 2
Google Form: Parking Tickets 2, Long Stoplights 0
Parking Tickets—keep an eye on those.
Florida defeats New Jersey, 17-13
Instagram: Florida 11, New Jersey 8
Twitter: Florida 5, New Jersey 4
Google Form: Florida 1, New Jersey 1
Vindication for New Jersey. Happy for that state. Maybe if they put “Not as bad as Florida” on their License Plate, it would receive at least a single vote in next year’s License Plate Bracket.
Litter defeats Traffic, 16-14
Instagram: Litter 10, Traffic 9
Twitter: Litter 5, Traffic 4
Google Form: Litter 1, Traffic 1
Two highway menaces. Litter evidently the worse of the two.
Social Media defeats Reality TV, 18-15
Instagram: Reality TV 11, Social Media 9
Twitter: Social Media 7, Reality TV 4
Google Form: Social Media 2, Reality TV 0
The takeaway here, of course, is that Twitter users are more self-loathing than Instagram users. Which makes a lot of sense.
Potholes defeat Roadkill, 22-9
Instagram: Potholes 14, Roadkill 6
Twitter: Potholes 7, Roadkill 2
Google Form: Potholes 1, Roadkill 1
Hope PETA gets a hold of this.
The DMV defeats Hall Monitors, 25-6
Instagram: The DMV 16, Hall Monitors 4
Twitter: The DMV 8, Hall Monitors 1
Google Form: The DMV 1, Hall Monitors 1
Hall Monitors: Relatively harmless. The DMV: Relatively harmful.
Identity Theft defeats Terms and Conditions, 27-4
Instagram: Identity Theft 18, Terms and Conditions 2
Twitter: Identity Theft 8, Terms and Conditions 1
Google Form: Identity Theft 1, Terms and Conditions 1
Well, yeah.
Delays defeat Brain Freezes, 22-8
Instagram: Delays 15, Brain Freezes 5
Twitter: Delays 5, Brain Freezes 3
Google Form: Delays 2, Brain Freezes 0
Brain Freezes, at least, accompany something good.
Broken Zippers defeat Stains, 16-14
Instagram: Broken Zippers 10, Stains 9
Twitter: Stains 5, Broken Zippers 4
Google Form: Broken Zippers 2, Stains 0
A tight vote. Did it hinge on how thoroughly each can ruin its host? Need more exit polling data to say for sure.
Dead Batteries defeat Almost-Empty Pens, 20-10
Instagram: Dead Batteries 14, Almost-Empty Pens 6
Twitter: Dead Batteries 5, Almost-Empty Pens 3
Google Form: Dead Batteries 1, Almost-Empty Pens 1
The bane of all diners trying to sign the check is no match for a more universal scourge.
Shots defeat Drama, 16-13
Instagram: Shots 10, Drama 9
Twitter: Shots 5, Drama 3
Google Form: Shots 1, Drama 1
Would like to know how voters interpreted each of these. Realized after releasing the bracket that they’re both quite vague.
Pyramid Schemes defeat Monopolized Industries, 20-10
Instagram: Pyramid Schemes 13, Monopolized Industries 6
Twitter: Pyramid Schemes 6, Monopolized Industries 3
Google Form: Pyramid Schemes 1, Monopolized Industries 1
Hmm.
Overused Jokes defeat Nickelback, 19-13
Instagram: Overused Jokes 12, Nickelback 8
Twitter: Overused Jokes 6, Nickelback 4
Google Form: Overused Jokes 1, Nickelback 1
Nickelback hate is alive, but evidently getting old.
