There’s nothing like a good New Yorker article. Sucks you in, keeps you reading, makes you not realize you just devoted all that time to a few pages of reading when you could have watched 72 TikToks…
Things I would like to read New Yorker articles about:
Fire Dancers at the Tourist Luaus in Maui
How do they get into it? How authentic is it to them? Do they have other hobbies? Do they surf as much as I imagine they surf?
Flight Trackers
Who created these and why do they keep advancing? At what point do the returns from flight tracker improvements diminish? Also, do you think they give extra special flight trackers to passengers in first class? Tell me the history of the flight tracker, New Yorker. Tell it to me in your smooth, calming tone.
Units of Measure
I’m specifically curious here about knots. How did units change? Who still uses knots?
The New Yorker
Where did it come from?
Cotton-Eyed Joe
Where did he go?
(I don’t have wifi right now. If I publish this and then find out it’s Cotton-Eye Joe, I’m going to punch myself in the ballsack.)
Urologists
Are they pervs?
Which Global City is the Angriest
If I wanted an article on which country was the angriest, I would want The Economist to cover that. Which state is the angriest should probably be left up to us at The Barking Crow. I nominate Ohio.
Any Dog Breed Besides Doodles
I don’t want to know the truth.
