I love a good baseball fight. You know this. After all, this is in large part a Joe Kelly blog.
When practical, I like to weigh in on any and all baseball fights, good or otherwise.
Yet I have been slow to comment on what happened between the Royals and the White Sox on Wednesday.
There’s no great reason for that. I meant to. Didn’t get around to it. The three of us all took some time off over Easter weekend, in a classic game of chicken in which everybody wins and then also loses.
But here I am, back at the keys, giving The Internet™ the final judgment concerning what happened between the Royals and the White Sox.
Let’s roll.
- That wasn’t a fight.
To be clear, the Royals and White Sox have yet to fight this year. They set the stage for one, but no real fighting was done.
Still, it was a great contribution to baseball feuds, standing alongside the Reds & Pirates in our Fight Watch. If you missed it, google “Tim Anderson bat flip” and you’ll catch up quickly enough.
- The Royals and White Sox still may fight.
The twain shall meet again many times this year, with the next meeting coming at Whatever-They’re-Calling-Comiskey-Now on Memorial Day.
If you’re scoring at home, yes, that is the same day the Reds and the Pirates play again, and I think I speak for all of us when I say I can’t wait to cringe at headlines comparing men standing in a circle to 18-year-old’s who died at the request of their country.
- The Tim Anderson bat chuck was fun.
This sentence speaks for itself, but look—everybody has a line on what is and isn’t acceptable for celebrations in any sport, and what Tim Anderson did shouldn’t have crossed that line for anyone. That was fun. Also original! Not a bat flip! A bat chuck! Innovative!
- Fights are also fun.
At the same time, while we may disagree with our friends and colleagues who bemoan how bat flips are ruining the game, and therefore robbing the joy of ruining it from The Incompetent Fool Who I’m Sure Is A Nice Enough Man And Is Just In A Bad Job For His Skill Set Rob Manfred, we need to be grateful for those who hate bat flips and the like, because they start fights, and fights are fun. Provided no one gets seriously injured, of course. And yes, that’s an intentionally vague line.
Sadly, many who push back against baseball’s “fun police” police fun themselves, pleading for the adrenaline-fueled men playing a competitive game requiring a high degree of physical skill to not do what comes naturally to humans and instead refrain from beating the crap out of each other. Come on, fellow bloggers. I thought you all liked nature.
- Martin Maldonado could have made this a lot cooler.
Out of everyone involved (excluding Rob Manfred, who was only tangentially involved), I am the most upset with Martin Maldonado, and this is why:
You can’t wait too long to do something cool.
This is an important rule in life. When you’re running late for dinner, and your party is seated against the window, and you’re about to pass them on the way in, you have to moon them then and there. There can be a split-second of hesitation, but no more. Once you’ve gone inside, shared the joke with them, had a good laugh, and moved on, there’s no going back. You can’t do a drive-by cheeks-against-the-glass on the way out. At that point, it’s grating.
Maldonado grated.
He was behind the plate when Tim Anderson draped his proverbial endowment over the entire Kansas City Royals organization, meaning he was directly in Anderson’s path when Anderson reached home plate. If he was upset enough to eventually be the guy jumping up and preventing Anderson from taking his base following the hit-by-pitch, why didn’t he just confront Anderson right away? Spontaneity, man! Hath Michael Barrett taught ye nothing??
Don’t let Ned Yost be the subject of your fury. Maldonado’s the one who let us down.
- How in Bronson Arroyo’s name did Tim Anderson get suspended?
The MLB needs players like Tim Anderson right now. He’s a thrilling story (the man is absolutely raking, just months after bloggers like some idiot named NIT Stu said he had a weak bat in lieu of the White Sox pretending to chase Manny Machado). He’s entertaining. He’s due for regression (so time is short).
In a league that’s done a terrible job promoting itself to black Americans (an even more terrible job than the standard MLB marketing futility, to be clear), he’s a really marketable black American. Not only should he be allowed to do his job (evidently Stand Your Ground laws and self-defense don’t apply after a man gets pegged with a 90+ mph fastball)—he should be celebrated. He’s been one of the best hitters in baseball this year! He’s seventh in wRC+! That’s outrageous!
Don’t suspend Tim Anderson for Martin Maldonado’s sins.
Put Tim Anderson in commercials.
Which is all why I had to clarify that I’m still more upset with Rob Manfred than I am with Maldonado.
- Aubrey Huff should tweet more.
Possibly the best outcome of this ordeal was Aubrey Huff thrusting himself into the Twitter spotlight.
