Imagine. It is the night of the Fourth of July. You are George Washington’s ghost. The possibilities! Here are some ideas of what I, at least, would do:
Crash a Showing of Hamilton
The actors would be confused, but they would rightly step aside as I unleashed my own, George Washington-written verses about the Revolution.
Hover Above a Fireworks Show
If I do get hit, it’s going right through me, and I bet that’d be a big adrenaline rush.
Go Bowling
Lanes are probably pretty open that night.
Moon British People
Losers.
Haunt My Rivals’ Graves and Talk Shit
I don’t know if George Washington had many rivals, so if I was going to do this I’d have to do some research first, but I want to remind myself of this idea in case I ever do get the opportunity to be George Washington’s ghost.
Wake a Ten-Year-Old from Sleep and Give Him Vague Instructions on How to Save America from a Vague Threat Which Does Not Actually Exist
Gotta pick the right kid. Earnest enough that they’d do it. Weird enough that their classmates wouldn’t think too much of them insisting they’d been visited by George Washington’s ghost. Smart enough to potentially be in a position of power one day, in case George Washington really does need them (establishing relationships is important).
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