As part of yesterday’s Mississippi River fallout (if you’re unfamiliar, here’s the TikTok), I was looking at the map of its watershed.
And folks.
There’s a river named after milk.
It’s in Montana and Alberta. It’s not made of milk, but it looks like milk, which is why Lewis & Clark named it what they did. It starts right by Glacier National Park, and it drains into the Missouri River, meaning a vast swath of our country is, in a way, watered by milk.
Happy day.
But that’s not all!
If you click on “Milk River (disambiguation)” on Wikipedia, you learn that there are FOUR Milk Rivers! There’s one in British Columbia (it flows into the Goat River). There’s one in Jamaica (it makes fertile the Caribbean Sea). There’s even one in Michigan, a subterranean one keeping Wayne and Macomb Counties safe the same way the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles kept New York safe in the nineties.
But that, too, is not all!
There’s a river in Nepal—the highest river in the world, in terms of elevation (not sure what else it would be in terms of)—named Dudh Koshi, which translates to Milk-Koshi River. It drains from Mount Everest.
BUT THAT, AGAIN, IS NOT ALL!!!
There’s a town named Milk River in Alberta. There’s a ridge named Milk River Ridge in Alberta. There’s a Milk River Airport. There’s a Milk River Ridge Reservoir. And in Jamaica, there’s even a Milk River Bath! A spa dedicated to the Milk River!
BUT EVEN THAT IS NOT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There’s a painting named Milk River! By someone named Agnes Martin!
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Milk Rivers run not only through our hearts.
They run through our world.
Two minutes and seven seconds of quality Fiumelatte content may be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj9NKriMjZc&ab_channel=renedulac
Look at it go! So milky.
Oh my gosh. I want to drink it right up.
What’s more, there’s Fiumelatte in northern Italy! It got its name from the Italian words for “river” (“fiume”) and “milk” (“latte”).
A delightful little river, it flows for just 820 feet, cascading down a steep hillside into the picturesque town of Varenna on the banks of stunning Lake Como.
Also, per Wikipedia: “One of the river’s peculiarities is its annual intermittency: it usually dries in the middle of October to reappear in the second half of March; therefore it has been given the nickname Fiume delle due Madonne (“River of the two Madonnas”), alluding to the festivities of Annunciation (March 25) and Madonna del Rosario (October 7).”
!!!!!!!
Thank you for this gift of knowledge.