The Worst Part of Washing Dead Squirrel Blood Off Your Hands

The worst part of washing dead squirrel blood off your hands is getting the dead squirrel blood on your hands in the first place.

The second-worst part of washing dead squirrel blood off your hands is worrying some of the blood might be yours.

The third-worst part of washing dead squirrel blood off your hands is seeing that, while it’s not as much your blood as you thought, there’s definitely an open nick on your finger, which means the dead squirrel blood could have entered your bloodstream and you might be blood brothers now with a dead squirrel.

The fourth-worst part of washing dead squirrel blood off your hands is the slow, cumulative realization that your dog has picked up a dead squirrel, that your dog won’t drop the dead squirrel, and that you are going to have to get the dead squirrel out of your dog’s mouth using physical force.

Which brings us back to the first thing.

The worst part of washing dead squirrel blood off your hands is getting the dead squirrel blood on your hands in the first place.

Note: In her defense, she is cute.

NIT fan. Joe Kelly expert. Milk drinker. Can be found on Twitter (@nit_stu) and Instagram (@nitstu32).
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5 thoughts on “The Worst Part of Washing Dead Squirrel Blood Off Your Hands

  1. “The third-worst part of washing dead squirrel blood off your hands is seeing that, while it’s not as much your blood as you thought, there’s definitely an open nick on your finger, which means the dead squirrel blood could have entered your bloodstream and you might be blood brothers now with a dead squirrel.”

    YIKES!

    I just texted this to my friend who is a family medicine doctor. He says that while the risk is low, you may want to consult your physician and attempt to determine whether squirrels in your area have high rates of rabies.

    P.S. Fargs is impossibly kewt.

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