It’s been a while since we shared a Joe Kelly update. Since whenever it was we did it, there have been a lot of rumbles. Just like the first 36 hours after consuming two blocks of cheddar, though, those rumbles have produced no results.
The rumbles:
Retirement
Retirement is the big question. We wondered about this last summer, then leapt to our feat with joy last September when Joe Kelly told Rob Bradford his arm was healed, putting retirement off the table. Then, supernatural evil forces struck down Joe Kelly’s arm again, he missed the postseason, and back into limbo we went.
We’re still in limbo, but the cards are on the table. A couple weeks ago, Joe Kelly explicitly told Alysha Del Valle that he would retire if either 1) his arm doesn’t get better or 2) the Dodgers don’t want him. It’s Dodgers or nothing.
Do the Dodgers want him?
That’s what’s unclear. They went on a bullpen spending spree this week, picking up Tanner Scott and reportedly Kirby Yates, two additions that would give them fourteen MLB pitchers for thirteen active roster spots, even without counting the five guys currently on the 40-man who are expected to open the season on the IL. (Shoutout to Roster Resource for, true to its name, being a wonderful resource on rosters.)
Still, this is the Dodgers. We can reasonably expect ten or eleven of those fourteen arms to spend some time on the IL this year, with at least two or three presumably underdoing Tommy John before 2025 is up.
Basically, I don’t know that we’re going to get a formal announcement regarding Joe Kelly’s retirement. More likely, his name comes up every time a new Dodger hits the 60-day IL. Eventually, maybe they make the call. If they do, or if he officially calls it quits, we’ll obviously be on top of it and let you know.
NIT/Joe Kelly Crossover Event
This was awesome.
On Saturday, UC Riverside held an Alumni Appreciation Night. The Highlanders, a fringe NIT candidate in October, entered the game slumping. Losers of three straight, they were just 3–3 in Big West play, with the visit from the second-place UC San Diego Tritons representing one of their few remaining chances to pick up a quality win. (Another happens tonight. UC Irvine in town. Big week for UC Riverside hoops.)
This is a Joe Kelly post, so we’ll only lightly regale you with tales of how UC Riverside won 85–81 while the cheerleaders wore shirts featuring Joe Kelly’s face, but shoutout to Barrington Hargress, who dropped 40. That was cool. Also: What a name. Barrington Hargress. Sheesh. That rules.
Joe Kelly and fellow UC Riverside athletic alum Ashley Kelly were in attendance. Go Highlanders.
Joe Kelly Explains Economics
With Roki Sasaki signing with Los Angeles last week, baseball discourse has turned to the question of whether the Dodgers are being allowed to spend too much money. This is ironic. Roki Sasaki was going to get the exact same number of dollars and cents no matter who signed him. Thanks to Major League Baseball’s owner-enriching international bonus pool limits and MLB-level arbitration, anybody could have signed Roki Sasaki.
Joe Kelly explained this weekend on the wonderful Baseball Isn’t Boring podcast, hosted by the talented Rob Bradford. He explained that a salary cap would still lead to the Dodgers signing every player that moves. We will say, though: He left one piece out.
In explaining this to us, his pupils, Joe Kelly referred to Los Angeles and the Dodgers organization as draws for a player like Shohei Ohtani or Roki Sasaki. Let’s get real, Joe. Those guys want to wear the uniform you made famous. If Joe Kelly had landed with the Tigers after the 2018 World Series, Shohei Ohtani and Roki Sasaki would both be in Detroit.
**
I think those are all the rumbles right now. But the thing about rumbles is that they almost always lead to more rumbles. That’s how Mount St. Helens happened. Some rumbles, some more rumbles, and then 540 millions tons of ash shooting way up into the sky. Which reminds us: If you live near a volcano, you should be ready to evacuate at any time. In the event the Dodgers do bring Joe Kelly back, we can only assume the earth will respond with that kind of phenomenon. It’s geology’s equivalent to the Vatican’s white smoke.
