It is time, friends, family, and—if Joe programmed The Pageview Machine™ correctly for our prospective advertisers—bots, that we add a new insult to our lexicon.
It’s not an insult, per se. More an insulting description. An exasperated description, if you will.
Basically, we need a euphemism for the kind of guy who uses the handicapped stall, and I propose we make that euphemism: “the kind of guy who uses the handicapped stall.” Know a guy who probably uses the handicapped stall even when there are other stalls available and—we’re making a concession here—they’re just as clean? He’s the kind of guy who uses the handicapped stall.
Now, to be extremely, extremely clear: WE DO NOT SAY THIS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE HANDICAPPED. THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS MEANS. This is about people who don’t need to use the handicapped stall but, you know, you’ve never gone to the bathroom with them but you kind of assume they use the handicapped stall. They’ve just got those vibes. If a person who’s handicapped has those vibes, do you use this phrase to describe them? I don’t know. Judgment call.
The best usage of this phrase is to describe someone who isn’t really a bad person, but can definitely be kind of a dick. Like, I don’t know if any of you know my friend Nick Perkins, who works for PwC at their New Orleans office, doing a lot of the grunt work on SEC reporting issues with multi-nationals in the energy industry, but that guy’s the kind of guy who uses the handicapped stall.
Even when the other stalls are comparably clean.
