In case any of you haven’t heard, had a weird dream about Joe Mauer the other night. Tweeted about it, but hey, not all of you are on Twitter:
Had a dream last night about Joe Mauer.
Some context: In the dream, the Twins had lost a playoff series back around 2010 because the game-winning run, which looked to have scored from first, was sent back to third when Joe Mauer’s double into the left field corner was interfered with by a fan.
The interference? In pounding on the wall, the fan dropped his ice cream sundae, and the ball went into the bowl and got stuck.
Present day (in the dream): I’m trying to make it to my old rival high school’s intrasquad football game. No, I don’t know why. But I’m delayed. Because I have a lot of cutlery in my possession.
You might see where this is going.
Yes, in the dream, I possess the spoons that were in the infamous Joe Mauer ice cream sundae. Yes, multiple spoons. Also a few forks and knives. And they were durable metal. This is the least believable part of the dream—the quantity of sundae cutlery. But hey. It was a dream.
Anyway, I’ve gotta get rid of these spoons (and forks, and knives). So I walk a mile down the street to an apartment complex where some Twins fan friends of mine live. I post in a Facebook group message (??) with them: Whoever wants the spoons can have them.
Quickly, I get a response from one of them.
“Joe Mauer should have those spoons.”
I’m a bit confused. This seems like a painful memory for him. I also feel guilty. I thought my friends could make some money off the spoons. ‘My head was in the wrong place on this,’ I lament.
But before I can change my course of action, there’s Joe Mauer, walking out the (sandstone—looked like it was maybe built pre-WWII) apartment building, sheepishly ready to collect the spoons that (in my mind) ruined his life.
Yes, in the dream, Joe Mauer lived in the same apartment building as my friends—unbeknownst to me until I made his acquaintance, there in the parking lot, holding fistfuls of spoons (and forks, and knives).
And that’s how I met Joe Mauer in my dream Sunday night. Nice guy.
