The Big Ten loves its basketball. It’s pretty easy to figure out why this is. Of the league’s fourteen schools, ten have a better chance, year in and year out, of winning the conference title in men’s basketball than in football, and of the other four, two (Ohio State, Penn State) have dedicated-enough fanbases that they’ll get riled up about pretty much anything, one (Nebraska) has a desperate-enough fanbase that it will get riled up about pretty much anything, and the fourth (Northwestern, where if Pat Fitzgerald gets to roll the dice enough he’ll eventually hit a yahtzee) has a small-enough fanbase that it isn’t really a presence in football anyway.
But it’s more than just that. The Big Ten has everything college basketball fans love: Deceptively athletic white kids. Streaky three-point shooting. Punches to the nuts. And that’s just Brad Davison. The league’s treasures number so much more.
Right now, the Big Ten’s greatest treasure is that four of its fourteen teams are, at this very moment, included in our model’s NIT Bracketology, which means if we drew a line down the middle of all the possible ways those teams’ seasons could play out, that line would end in the NIT. No, not “lucky them.” They’re earning this.
Four is, at the moment, the most any conference is putting in there, and since we’ve got some Big Ten readership, we’re going to take advantage of it. Before we get to today’s games, and yesterday’s games, and a little note about stealing people’s parking spots when you’re driving delivery, let’s break down the four as they stand:
Michigan State (projected 1-seed)
Sparty. A total stranger to the NIT, but playing the part so far. The Spartans are bad. I don’t know how else to say it. They aren’t good at basketball. They might become good at basketball. They may have been good at basketball a month ago. But right now, they are bad at basketball, and we love it. Take your time accepting it, Mssr. Izzo. We’ll keep your plate warm.
Northwestern (projected 2-seed)
“Bad” and “good” are relative terms, which is why Michigan State, though about as good as Northwestern, is bad, but Northwestern, though about as bad as Michigan State, is good.
Do Northwestern students know they have a good basketball team? Probably. But probably, on the aggregate, not in a way where they’re excited as much as in a way where they’re ready to hurl the fact at some ingrate with spite, along with some barb about SAT scores. No, definitely no excited students. But one would guess there’s a good share of excited middle schoolers in the near suburbs whose dads take them to games. Happy for those guys. And grateful for them. They’re the next generation of NIT fans. Because it looks like they’re gonna have NITickets if things open back up this March.
Maryland (projected 2-seed)
Do you ever think of Scott Van Pelt and smile deviously? Me too.
Penn State (projected 3-seed)
Not gonna lie, happy for these guys. Tough season for the players, having Pat Chambers leave under the circumstances Pat Chambers left. Would imagine that’s a really hard situation when you’re 18-22 years old, and it sounds like it was a tough situation even before he left. So let me say emphatically, I’m happy for Penn State.
Now.
I’m also worried about Penn State. Because assuming unsightly records still weigh teams down in a pandemic year (Penn State’s looking at ending up somewhere around 11-14), they’re going to need to pick up a couple #WinsTheyShouldn’t if they wanna make this NIT thing happen, and they’ll need to choose those carefully if they don’t wanna overshoot and end up in the tournament that shall not be named. Let us know if you need help, Penn State. We can give you a list of winners and losers. For starters, try to beat Michigan on Saturday. But not by too much.
***
- Speaking of Maryland, the Terps lost in Bloomington last night by eight. Flawless performance from the NIT hopefuls.
- Oklahoma State dropped a thriller in Stillwater to West Virginia, coughing up a big lead over the game’s last few minutes. We were starting to question whether the Pokes wanted to be here. It’s hard to say they don’t after a night like this.
- Kentucky’s back on the court tonight, trying to claw back into this thing. They host Vanderbilt, which feels like either a skin-of-their-teeth survival game or a blood-splattering massacre, which probably means they’ll win by eight or nine, nothing will change, and it’ll be rather boring.
- Dayton nearly slipped out of our projected field this week, and now they’ve got to do the same thing that gave them fits last Wednesday: Beat a bad team. This time, it’s Fordham, who’s worse than La Salle (last week’s challenger) but is also the home team tonight. Godspeed, Flyers. Fly for your lives.
- Alabama hosts Florida, and it might be our last look at Nate Oats for a long, long time. Contrarily, he might turn around and start running down the gangway towards us. Our hearts are in our throats. We daintily press our fingers to our lips in stress.
- NC State and TCU have winnable, don’t-win games: at Clemson, home against Kansas.
- Marquette hosts UConn, and has there ever been a game with a wider margin between how prestigious it actually is and how prestigious the fanbases think it is? Yes, most of this is Marquette, but don’t let UConn off too easy. Those guys don’t matter west of Newark, and they don’t matter north of Albany, and they don’t matter in Boston, and nothing matters in New Hampshire because New Hampshire seems like it’s been getting a bit nihilist lately, doesn’t it? Maybe just the texts I’m getting from it.
- Davidson goes to Pittsburgh to play Duquesne. Both teams trying to stay alive. Both probably should be trying to just get back to life.
- Potential symbiosis games in the ACC and SEC: UNC goes to Miami. Mizzou plays in Starkville.
- Michigan State hosts Rutgers, so today may have been our last with Sparty. But they also might nestle in tonight for the long haul. We’ve opened the door to their crate. It’s up to them as to whether they want to rejoin nature. (Michigan State is a opossum, not a raccoon, so if you thought they were a raccoon please re-read this while envisioning a opossum in that extended metaphor. We will not give Michigan State the satisfaction of being a raccoon.)
- And before we leave, a word to the wise: There’s a woman up in Cedar Park who likes her parking space and drives with earbuds on, and she’s not afraid to point at you and give you the yerr out! sign while saying “I need you to move!” if you accidentally park in her spot while delivering a milkshake to her neighbor. She does not seem all that happy these days. Give her a wide berth.
