Inspired by my own fleeting thought: The best things to yell when you’re about to t-bone a 12-year-old at full speed in the bumper cars at Six Flags.
“Cowabunga!”
The classic.
“Hey, punk!”
Again, nice and easy. Can’t go wrong with this.
“Hope you wore your diaper!”
Could be problematic. If you happen to catch a kid who’s struggling with bed-wetting. Or one who’s prone to being picked on by his friends. Kids can definitely start diaper rumors. That’s in their arsenal.
“GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
When in doubt, make this noise. In most situations, it will end well for you.
“I’m a flying talking donkey!”
You have to do the voice, though.
“Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? YOUR MOM!”
Ok this is the one that started it all and I can’t think of anything better than it. I’m really proud of this. Honestly. If you sung this? And timed it correctly? Wow. This would be a moment that kid would treasure forever.
After their neck recovered from the whiplash, of course.
Quick clarification. Who’s point of view? Is this another 12 year old who is doing the t-boning?
Or is it NIT Stu, the 46 year old blogger (and part time Benihana Table Plant–I’ve never met you, so I’m assuming you’re 46 and are paid to sometimes join a quiet group at Benihana to be the guy who says “Wow, do me now!”), who is riding a bumper car full steam to pwn a child while doing an Eddie Murphy impression?
Oh, 100% one’s adult self. This is an adult post. If you’re a kid, you just yell “FARTS!” like you do for everything.
And yes, Benihana pays well.