We haven’t had much to say about the Texan House Democrats fleeing to D.C., partially because we didn’t know how long it would last, but man, they’re really doing it! This is like when the kid who’s been saying he won’t go down the biggest slide at the waterpark comes through on that promise and plants himself on the ground at the top of the stairs, holding up the line and making his dad all kinds of pissed.
A few jokes we’ve been making about the situation:
“Wish they’d brought the Republicans with ‘em!”
“If you flee Texas, it should have to be on horseback.”
We have more than those, though. Don’t worry.
My current thought is that it would be great for billionaires to get involved. They involve themselves with so much, and the thought of Jeff Bezos saying, “Hey, (insert legislator), let me help you with that,” and bringing the legislator up into space where nobody has jurisdiction and letting them stay there a while gives me the giggles.
Another thought is that there has to be a way to fit a Dan Patrick bankruptcy joke into here. Patrick, Texas’s lieutenant governor known for saying crazy shit on television and the radio, got into politics in a roundabout way, starting a chain of sports bars and going bankrupt before realizing he could make a fortune and amass quite a bit of power by saying crazy shit on television and the radio. I guess the parallel here would be if a failed academic or something in the Democratic caucus turned into a power player nationally by making a bunch of Instagram stories this week from the Tidal Basin. Sign of the times, Dan.
There’s also the looming possibility of another special session later this year, at which point the surprise element of the Democratic caucus’s flight would no longer be intact, but we’d be able to have a ton of fun speculating on where they were going to go. There’s gotta be a scenario involving Mexico that’s humorous, either because of that wall Greg Abbott wants to use my money to build to help his presidential prospects or because Ted Cruz is evidently liable to be in Cancún anytime things are going awry.
That’s all we have right now. Hopefully it goes on forever and we get to make an infinite number of jokes about it. Games of chicken are the best when no one loses.
chicken is not a game. it’s a blood sport.