By now, you may have heard that a University of Utah student was arrested this week for allegedly threatening to “detonate” the nuclear reactor which for some reason lives on campus at the University of Utah. Was it a true threat? I don’t know. It was on YikYak, a social media app most famous for getting banned six years ago (probably due to people doing stuff like this), and it was only a threat in the event Utah lost to San Diego State, which they didn’t. This is a classic case of “threat or bet.”
But we aren’t here to talk about threats and bets. We’re here to talk about nuclear reactors, and how you don’t really detonate them, right?
To be transparent: I don’t know what I’m talking about here. But. I’m a blogger, so talking about things I’m underqualified to discuss is my job, and I also have a lot more time to look into this than most of you have (again because it’s my job).
To be more transparent: I WAS RIGHT YOU CAN’T EXPLODE THESE THINGS YOU CAN ONLY MELT THEM DOWN HAHAHA SUCK IT, ESTABLISHED COLLEGE FOOTBALL MEDIA! MAYBE YOU SHOULD SPEND LESS TIME ALTERNATIVELY COMPLAINING ABOUT NOT PAYING KIDS/HOW KIDS GET PAID AND MORE TIME LEARNING YOUR PHYSICS YOU BIG DUMB IDIOTS!
From Argonne National Laboratory:
“It is impossible for a reactor to explode like a nuclear weapon; these weapons contain very special materials in very particular configurations, neither of which are present in a nuclear reactor.”
I’m going bet, not threat. Even if it was a threat, though, hard to argue with the logic. We need more consequences in society, and it clearly worked.
Guest Star Gritty
I’ve only watched a few episodes of Abbott Elementary, but I find it delightful, and the fact Gritty was on the second season’s opening episode only adds to the love. We need more Philadelphia in Hollywood.
To hype the appearance, Gritty agreed to an email interview with Variety (I’d say to picture Gritty sitting at a laptop, clacking away, but Gritty definitely doesn’t own a laptop that betch was doing this on their phone for sure). Highlights:
Q: Are you an “Abbott Elementary” fan? Did Quinta Brunson approach you as a guest star, or did you ask to be in the show yourself?
A: When you’ve reached the level of fame and success that Quinta and I have, you have people for that. Her people reached out to my people. Of course I’m a fan … It’s comedy, it’s Philly and it’s school. I love two of those things!
*
Q: Who’s the bigger Philly icon? You or Quinta?
A: In terms of height, me. Trusted sources (Wikipedia) have Quinta listed at 4 ft 11 in. If we’re going by Emmys, she’s got me beat.
*
Q: In the episode, since he isn’t from Philadelphia, Gregory (Tyler James Williams) doesn’t understand why you’re such a big deal. How do you explain the phenomenon of Gritty to people outside of Philly?
A: I’m not in the business of explaining myself or my actions. You either get me or you’re wrong.
“You either get me or you’re wrong.” I love that for Gritty. And also for myself.
Ear, Eye, Belly Button
Speaking of betches, Fargo and I are taking a road trip in a few minutes down to see our mutual friend, the veterinarian. Fargo’s psyched. I’m a little concerned. She’s got that belly button thing going on we talked about a couple days ago (“umbilical hernia,” she’s always had it but it’s seemed more pronounced this last week), and we’ve gotten conflicting messages from previous vets on how often and how to clean her ears, and her right eye was weirdly watery earlier this afternoon and I would guess she just accidentally hit herself in the eye while scratching the ears, but who knows. Convenient timing, that we’re going to a vet today.
Anyway, the whole thing feels like a children’s book where they’re using a puppy’s trip to the doctor to teach kids body parts.
Sens on the Ice
Training camp has begun.
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Viewing schedule:
8:15 PM EDT: Steelers @ Browns (Amazon Prime Video)
I always forget to cancel my annual Prime subscription, so dammit, I’m gonna use it. I also really enjoy seeing people hit one another over the head with football helmets. Sue me. They’re the perfect clubbing device, and it’s frankly offensive that so much care, money, and craftsmanship goes into things most guys just leave on their heads. Get swingin’!
6:35 PM EDT: Cubs @ Pirates (MLB TV)
The Cubs have the opportunity, playing a ton of games against bad teams these next couple weeks, to end the season with good vibes. They also have the opportunity to finish with a loss total in the 80’s, which isn’t as alarming when you look back historically as one in the 90’s. I care about these things. Again: Sue me, you legalistic parasites.
8:10 PM EDT: Guardians @ White Sox (MLB TV, third screen it would appear)
Continued thoughts, prayers, good vibes, what have you to the Kelly family with whatever’s going on.
2:45 PM EDT: Wales @ Belgium – UEFA Nations League
2:45 PM EDT: Luxembourg @ Turkey – UEFA Nations League
One correction from yesterday: It turns out that of Burnley’s U21 international players, only Dara Costelloe is playing games of consequence these two weeks. All those others aren’t Euro qualifiers, they’re just friendlies. England, the Netherlands, Germany, and Belgium have all already qualified, Northern Ireland’s been eliminated, it’s just Ireland, and that’s tomorrow.
For this, we’ve got our guy Connor Roberts playing for Wales and our other guy Halil Dervişoğlu playing for Turkey. Godspeed, gentlemen. Roberts, please start an international incident.
