It’s a time of dramatic turnover in college football. A program—many call it the best program in the sport right now—that was recently thought incapable of winning under the brightest lights has, on the heels of losing the star that was the face of their greatness, also lost the most essential part of their championship ecosystem.
Yes, mere days after Uga’s death, Georgia is replacing its hedges with new ones.
This is evidently done every 20 to 40 years.
What if, though? What if Georgia can’t win without these specific hedges? What if these were the championship hedges and the new ones are loser hedges? I don’t know how you do this if you’re Georgia. Surely nobody is sober enough in Sanford Stadium to know or care that a few hedges are dead.
It’s a risky move, but I will give Georgia this: If Uga was like the dogs I know, he wanted to be able to smell his own pee on those hedges. So that he’d know it was still his house. Changing hedges while changing Ugas is probably the right way to do it, if you’re going to do it at all.
Does Luka Dončić Have a Zion Williamson Problem?
Poor Luka. From ESPN:
Doncic reacted to the heckler, a Suns fan who wore a Booker “El Valle” jersey while sitting in the second row behind the midcourt press area, late in the third quarter. The man shouted: “Luka, you’re tired! Get your ass on the treadmill!”
The reporting on this is that Luka Dončić was playing basketball (I believe that part) and Luka Dončić was being heckled (believe this too) and the media could hear the heckler, because he was behind them. (I believe this part too. I guess I believe the whole thing. I’ll stop clarifying which parts I believe now.) Finally, after the heckler questioned Luka Dončić’s conditioning, Luka Dončić asked for the man to be ejected. It appears the man was.
I wonder if this is a badge of honor. I’m trying to put myself in the heckler’s shoes. The conditioning thing seems kind of personal. I think it would be funnier to heckle a guy for something innocuous, and to through that get so under his skin that it makes him want you gone. Tell Luka he looks like he watches way too much Full House. Chant Daaaan-ny Taaaan-ner at him. But since we’ve made fun of Zion Williamson’s conditioning struggles, I’m afraid we have to make fun of Luka Dončić’s, too. We have to ask:
Is Luka fat?
I will say. This video is not the greatest look for our guy.
(Full disclosure: I’m a little tubby right now. No shame towards Zion or Luka. We’ve been there, guys. We are currently there. Most healthy food tastes bad. We don’t have to pretend it doesn’t.)
Team USA: Caitlin Clark In, Draymond Green Out?
There was Team USA news this week as we approach the Olympics, with Draymond Green not making the 41-player cut for the men while the women named their 18-player roster for their February camp. It sounds like unlike the men’s team, the women’s team can still add players once they finish college and go pro. This has evidently happened before with top WNBA draft picks, and people won’t say this because they’re so afraid of being sexist that they sexistly won’t criticize female athletes, but my impression is that the reason it’s a question with Caitlin Clark is because she’s a potential defensive liability.
Anyway, I think there should be a coed team, and that we should make it of players who didn’t make either the men’s or the women’s Team USA. Give me Trae Young, Draymond Green, Alex Caruso, Caitlin Clark, and Sabrina Ionescu as the starting five. Nobody would storm the court if they upset Draymond Green.
*They* Were Doping??
In other Olympics news, the World Anti-Doping Agency announced the results yesterday of a 10-year global study into youth doping. Operation Refuge, they called it. What did it say?
Well, a 12-year-old got caught doping, which sounds like the next frontier for Little League Baseball, but the headline is that Russia, India, and China were the biggest culprits.
They needed to conduct a 10-year global study to figure out that Russia and China are giving minors PEDs.
Is Nick Dunlap a Bust?
Nick Dunlap is the amateur golfer who won a PGA Tour event last weekend. (Side note: That event is named the American Express, and that is not a name, PGA Tour. That is just a sponsor. This is like how the museum started by Henry Ford is just called The Henry Ford. We need another word here, guys. The American Express Open. The American Express Classic. The American Express Golf Happening.)
Nick Dunlap is going pro.
Evidently if you win a PGA Tour event, you get to be on the PGA Tour for three years. You also get to play in the Masters and the PGA Championship through this exemption. Even if you do a bad job, they gotta give you that other 2-mill. No risk for our man Nick.
So, congratulations to Nick Dunlap. He’s made it. Now, we wait to see if he ends up playing for the Saudis or if he’s bad at golf.
The University of San Diego Exists
One thing here about Jim Harbaugh: He coached at San Diego before he took the Stanford job. Not at San Diego State. A lot of people are making that mistake, and a lot of people are passing on funny content in which other people made that mistake, and it’s all ok. Nobody needs to be all that upset about it (besides the Torero faithful, limited in number though they may be). But USD exists, and it’s a D-I school that plays non-scholarship FCS football, and it’s often been good but it did really take off under Jim Harbaugh. In basketball, San Diego made the 2019 NIT (though that was a huge surprise at the time and it’s possible the committee was confused). Private school. Catholic. Pretty nice spot, from what we’re told. Kris Bryant played baseball there.
Last NITe, ToNITe
- I realized, watching Iowa last night, that they felt eerily familiar, and then I realized that they’re just the same team they’ve been recently under Fran McCaffery, but without the All-Americans like Luka Garza and Keegan Murray. I hadn’t realized how simple this was, or how much sense their struggles made. Of course Iowa isn’t great right now. They took away the parts holding back their NIT quest! They trimmed the fat, and now they’re in contention. That’s how you do it, decent–but–not–great power-conference teams.
- North Texas hosts SMU this evening for the schools’ lone AAC matchup (besides the one in Dallas in two weeks and possibly one in the AAC Tournament). Should be a good atmosphere at the Super Pit. Maybe the best at the Super Pit? My impression is that the UVA game in 2022 is the best, but I could be wrong. Regardless, I am excited. Gonzaga’s also in action, and they could really take an NIT swing with a home loss to San Francisco. Congratulations to the Zags for getting in the UNT/SMU/USF section of the chat.
- The Bulls play the Lakers, and thinking of LeBron made me realize the 41-player Team USA list is probably actually 42 players, because we should all assume Bronny is going to go pro, being the best player in college basketball history, and that he’ll therefore be added to the team.
- The Sens host the Bruins tonight, and this is the test for whether the Sens are really Hot™, as they appear. The Bruins are good. But a team that’s truly Hot™ should be able to beat a good team, especially at home, especially in hockey. Notably, the Sens are only one twentieth of a goal behind the Bruins in scoring. They’re twenty twentieths behind in goals allowed, but the point of hockey is not to not allow goals. It’s to score them. And to cause a ruckus.
- Burnley beat Manchester United this afternoon in a friendly, and I think it should count. I think Burnley should just start including it in the standings as it addresses them. Premier League teams have done way worse. Newcastle tried to assassinate a Five Eyes informant!
