Aaron Rodgers is, once the Jets agree to pay whatever price the Packers offer after the Jets negotiated themselves into a corner, going to be a New Yorker. Having been to New York myself this week, I am uniquely in a position to figure out where Aaron Rodgers is going to live. Here are the options:
A Houseboat
There is water all around New York City. Plenty of space for something wacky if you’re willing to, ahem, rock the boat. Just a suggestion.
The Statue of Liberty
Rodgers has recently become very into freedom, even if he may be distrustful of the institution which most commonly uses this statue as its icon. Does he take a stand?
7 World Trade Center
Looking for clues. Testing the water pressure.
New Jersey
There’s a chance, but the practical option seems highly unlikely with this guy.
The Hamptons
There we go. Daily helicopter commute. Make everything harder.
31 Rockefeller Plaza
“I thought the imagery would be powerful—me, in the crosshairs of the woke mob, living on the literal cross streets of the mainstream media.”
Green Bay
BUT WHAT IF THE PACKERS DON’T TRADE HIM AND HE COMES BACK HMM DO YOU THINK THEY’RE CONSIDERING THAT??
Joe Kelly’s Book Is Out
Joe Kelly’s book was released last week, and while I have yet to read it, it’s my planned Las Vegas poolside entertainment during the off day during the Final Four. More to come.
His spring training? Going well. No home runs allowed yet, no walks, looks like he might be on schedule to pitch again today. He also attended a World Baseball Classic game while wearing a Kendall Graveman jersey. What can we say? The man’s a showman.
Shaka Smart: Winner
Marquette won today in the exhibition tournament, which is good. If they can win again on Sunday, only the biggest idiots will say their season wasn’t a success. If they lose? It’ll be more about Tom Izzo. We’re into a position of power with the narrative.
Please Do Not Chug Milk
Oh boy, I did not realize this, this is terribly sad.
With Kennesaw State getting attention today, I mentioned Milk Monday online, which led me to google it to see if our old blog post still got SEO clicks from this. Milk Monday doesn’t exist anymore. For a very good reason.
Per Reddit—not a credible source of information, but certainly a source of rumors—Milk Monday was shut down because someone was practicing chugging milk, had a preexisting condition, and went into cardiac arrest. That’s the rumor, I have no idea if it’s true or false, but that is why we will never mention Milk Monday again in conjunction with Kennesaw State. I don’t think you can reasonably blame this on milk (milk did not ask to be chugged), but it’s really, really tragic. Heartbreaking stuff.
Soccer Stuff
We have developments on two fronts in the soccer world.
On the Burnley side, three things:
First, the club is under a transfer embargo, which is a super cool name but is bad for the Burnleys. They’re saying it’s because they changed auditors this fall. Hopefully they’re cleared by the summer window.
Second, JJ Watt was in Burnley last week and is considering buying into the team as a part owner. Would love this. JJ, have we told you how Burnley reminds us of Wisconsin?
Third, the lads play Manchester City tomorrow in the FA Cup quarterfinals. Could be the biggest upset of the day, considering Hofstra gets Cincinnati at home.
On the Austin FC side, one thing:
I want to support Austin FC. I want to not be a grinch. But they played some Haitian team in the CONCACAF equivalent of the Champions League, and they were something like a -3000 favorite in the first leg, and they lost that leg 3–0 and went on to lose on the aggregate. And I found it way, way, way too funny.
The Sens
As I understand it, the Sens have hit a skid after nosing back into the playoff chase a few weeks back. We’ve been following a little, but what we’ve seen does not look good. Good losses, bad losses, far too many losses. There’s probably more to think, but I don’t know what it is. Seems like a good team that shot itself in the foot early in the year and then played in too tough a conference to get through.
Hockey needs an NIT.
Housekeeping
We’ll try to be back to fuller notes on Monday, so if you’re looking for Mason Ramsey intel, that’s when to look for it. We’ll be around with NIT content all weekend, though, so keep visiting www.thebarkingcrow.com.
Bona NIT, friends.
As a great American once said, “When they outlaw chugging milk, only outlaws will chug milk.”