For fans of Big Fat Liar, Agent Cody Banks, Malcolm in the Middle, and/or the band “Kingsfoil,” there’ll be a familiar face on our televisions this afternoon. Well, only if we stumble upon the fourth-highest stock car racing series in the country. But if we do, whoa boy, will there be a familiar face in one of those cars.
Frankie Muniz is trying his hand at NASCAR. 37 years old and a two-time Kids’ Choice Awards winner, the icon of our youth is getting behind the wheel full-time in this year’s ARCA Menards Series, a semi-pro league which feeds into the three prominent nationally touring NASCAR series.
The driving of fast cars competitively (why did I describe auto racing that way, oh well, let’s move on) isn’t new to Muniz. He’s driven cars competitively in a non-pro/am setting since 2006, racing on and off since a 2009 crash derailed his IndyCar ambitions. He was the pace car driver for the 2001 Daytona 500, there to film an episode of True Life when Dale Earnhardt met his end. He spent a few years of his childhood in North Carolina, and my impression is that kids in North Carolina are at least familiar with NASCAR. It’s like how Texan kids take Texas History as a mandatory class growing up.
There’s a big pay-to-play element in NASCAR, and while I haven’t read details, we can fairly assume that Muniz is racing in the car good enough to finish seventh last year in points because he can draw good sponsors (or front some cash himself). At the same time, though, this is the kind of pay-to-play you want in NASCAR. This is way more fun than Quin Houff racing in the Cup Series. This is not a no-name rich kid. This is a former child actor trying a late-career renaissance in a non-glamorous stock car series that isn’t even officially part of NASCAR. This is a movie plot. We’re on board.
Do Less, Arkansas Fans
Arkansas’s Sports Illustrated blog (a continued RIP to Sports Illustrated, by the way) ran a post this week we won’t link to because 1) it’s terribly stupid and 2) that website is an ad-riddled mess that probably won’t put malware on your computer but feels like it’s going to put malware on your computer. Its title? Something about Arkansas being in great shape to host games in the NIT.
The Hogs are projecting to finish multiple seed lines above the NIT field. They haven’t done nearly enough. Lose to Florida today and we’re still not really talking.
The Sens Hurt Me
I got emotionally invested in the Ottawa Senators last night, and while I’m always at least somewhat emotionally invested, I usually don’t have an actual reaction to them losing. Blow a 3–1 third period lead, though? Against a team some of my friends like? That wasn’t fun.
I’m a big enough idiot with little enough knowledge of hockey that I’m still watching the standings, which is why I can tell you the Sens are in 13th place in the 16-team Eastern Conference, and that they need to be in the top eight to make the playoffs, and that at least one of the six teams they could conceivably pass for one of the last two spots is definitely better than they are. And you know what? None of that sentence would have changed had they won. They lost in overtime, they still got a point, the sky may be falling but I have yet to believe it. I am the people telling Chicken Little he is wrong.
Daytona 500 vs. Indy 500 vs. ???
Ok, at least F1 doesn’t have a signature event that’s any good (Monaco looks neat but it is a parade, you guys).
I don’t want to choose. I wish I hadn’t written this header. I will say, though: Though I’ve never been to the Daytona 500, it’s hard to imagine it’s better in person than the Indy 500; and having watched both on TV, the Daytona 500 tends to be more exciting so long as they don’t have a huge rain delay, which happens way too close to half the time.
Again, full preview coming sometime before tomorrow morning. It’s NASCAR season, friends. Vroom vroom.
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The menu the rest of the weekend (besides college basketball, that is too much for this humble section and therefore gets its own posts today and tomorrow):
Saturday, 10:00 AM EST: Burnley @ Luton Town (ESPN+)
Saturday, 10:00 AM EST: Leeds United @ Everton (USA)
Burnley’s on the road for the Luton rematch, and Sean Dyche hosts our old enemies Leeds over in Liverpool. Not the biggest for our Burnleys—they’re at least five games up on third place right now, and they’re five points up on Sheffield United—but with Luton in fourth and the lads holding a game in hand on Middlesbrough (who’s in third), it’s a chance to further put this thing away. It isn’t straightforward to figure out the magic number for soccer (that’s why the game’s never really caught on in the United States—everyone on this continent watches sports with the need to know who can and cannot clinch) but I think it would just be nine straight wins to clinch promotion outright. Will probably take less than that, given the mortality and innate flawedness of man.
Saturday, 8:00 PM EST: NBA All-Star Skills Challenge/3-Point Contest/Slam Dunk Contest (TNT)
Big 12 watchers know: You want to watch Mac McClung’s interviews. Scrap personified. I don’t care about the dunks. I’m here to hear. I’m here to hear Mac McClung.
Sunday, 2:00 PM EST: Blues @ Sens (ESPN+)
Sens are at it again tomorrow, again against a team whose supporters likely count my friends among their number. The fellas should be favored. Our fellas, I mean. The Sens.
Sunday, 2:30 PM EST: Daytona 500 (FOX)
I’m seeing 3:06 as the green flag time here. Not positive, but that’s what I’m seeing. I’m still on that $200 laptop I bought at a Target in Georgia, and sites with video ads crash my browser, so I’m trying not to click. (Frankie Muniz races at 1:47 EST on Saturday, that’s on FS1.) (Update: Bob Pockrass says 3:14 for Sunday, and he’s usually right.)
Sunday, 7:30 PM EST: NBA All-Star Draft (TNT)
Sunday, 8:30 PM EST: NBA All-Star Game (TNT)
Will I watch the All-Star Game? I’m not sure. But I’ll be damned (not literally, please don’t send me to Hell) if I don’t watch the All-Star Draft. The best idea. We’re in a great era of All-Star Games. I don’t care how many toes Myles Garrett has to dislocate to get us this.
