Stu’s Notes: We Need to Make Fun of the Miami F1 Race

I’m sorry. I hope the F1 race in Miami is fun, I think the idea of F1 going to Miami’s a great one, I’m a fan of F1 and Miami doing things together. They’re perfect for one another.

But they’re running a race around a football stadium named for a theme restaurant, it’s more than seven miles from the nearest beach, and they created a fake marina for “Miami vibes.” Dock, boats, land. One of those three does not belong with the other.

The best case is that the race does well enough that the city of Miami and Formula 1 figure out a way to have it in a place with some actual Miami vibes in the future. The other best case is that it’s a disaster, they never go back to Miami, the opportunity is missed but we at least get a whole lot of laughs out of the deal. The worst case is that people pretend it’s cool when it’s not. The worst case that’s kind of a best case is that they’re locked into doing the Hard Rock Café circuit for a decade and we get to watch the F1 waterboys get blustery every year as they pretend this is in any way good.

Was reminded today that this is happening this weekend, then learned about the dock-on-land and lost it. Something had been miffing me about this thing and it turns out it was the stadium piece. I’ve been to that stadium. It is in a Floridian wasteland. Formula 1 deserves water. Even IndyCar managed to get by the water in St. Petersburg. Wasn’t great water, but it was water!

Bacot on the Banks

Speaking of water, Armando Bacot Jr. is evidently going to have some cameos in the next season of Outer Banks? Incredible. Other athletes said, “NIL’s a thing, so I can get paid,” and Armando Bacot said, “NIL’s a thing, I wonder if they’d let me be on that TV show.” Keep an eye on the impact this has on UNC’s dominance of North Carolinian culture. I don’t know much about the Banks themselves, but people do seem to like them. Buddy who lives in Philadelphia raves about them. He’s like 5’4”. I want to see him and Bacot talk about vacation breakfast spots.

Joe Kelly Crushed Another Rehab Appearance

I realized yesterday that my theory about Kelly’s extended time in Charlotte might be misguided. After all, the theory was that Charlotte city officials were paying the White Sox (Tony La Russa implicated somehow, of course, even though relief pitcher rehab shouldn’t be his decision) to have Joe Kelly stay down there a bit longer and boost attendance numbers, thereby helping their case for an eventual expansion team.

Last night’s game was on the road.

The obvious takeaway is that this is further-reaching than my innocent mind could previously comprehend. I’ll report back. Two strikeouts, one (alleged) walk, looked nasty.

Burnley’s Got a New Mascot

Burnley’s leaning into their women’s team, which is smart because everyone’s trying to be good at men’s soccer in England but not everyone is trying to be good at women’s soccer. Call that an advantage. As part of this, they added a female mascot, Bella:

Great video, great vibes, I’m obviously a fan (the list of things that make a good mascot had me clicking pause and taking notes, because I want to bring that energy even if I’m not in the suit). I do need to know why Bella was never previously into Bertie’s favorite team, though. Why did it take the Liverpool win to get her on board? Like any good story, I’m left with even more questions than I had when I began.

Are the Cubs Tricking Me into Liking Nico Hoerner?

Nico Hoerner is one of few things going well for the Cubs right now, but it doesn’t seem like he’s actually good. Instead, it seems like he seems good. Lot of fun defensive plays, enough big hits that you remember them but he’s also at the bottom of the order so he’s pretty shielded from producing when it matters. Gets pinch-hit for with the game on the line, right? I would assume that’s happened. I haven’t noticed! That’s the point!

Anyway, this is reminding me a little of Mike Fontenot, the guy who wasn’t good but had one great season and had a name that rhymed with that of Ryan Theriot (and came from similar or the same cultural roots), making me think, “Mike Fontenot rocks.” That was a dirty trick. No more of that, please.

***

Viewing schedule tonight:

Capitals @ Panthers (7:30 PM EDT, TBS)

As an appetizer.

Predators @ Avalanche (9:30 PM EDT, TNT)

There it is. What? You thought I’d forgotten that I hate the Avalanche? Well, you thought wrong. Nearly thought right, but I remembered at the last minute. Close call. Go Preds, I guess. Go predate that uncontrollable, deadly falling snow and rock and ice. Like you were born to do.

NIT fan. Joe Kelly expert. Milk drinker. Can be found on Twitter (@nit_stu) and Instagram (@nitstu32).
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