The best thing about Formula 1 is its glamour. The best thing about NASCAR is its chaos. The best thing about IndyCar is the Indy 500.
Sunday, we get all three, arguably in their purest forms.
The F1 and IndyCar angles here are obvious: Even if American Formula 1 fans get a little more excited about Baku (since it’s their chance to show everyone how much they’ve learned about F1 from a Netflix series and watching the convenient races over the last two or three years), Monaco’s the big one, and for IndyCar, the Indy 500 remains the only show in town, the sole race on the circuit of any significance in the broader sporting world.
There’s a little bit of complaint about Monaco from those who enjoy racing—it’s nearly impossible to pass on those tiny little streets with those big ol’ F1 cars—but if you actually like racing, you probably shouldn’t be watching F1 anyway, since that series is more about looking cool and being all rich and worldly. This isn’t a knock on F1 fans (the Baku thing was, but this is not). I like a good drone video of a fancy house’s view of the Pacific as much as the next guy. Glamour is cool, and Monaco is where, in the F1 world, it is its coolest. Nothing wrong with the race being a time trial event followed by a two-hour parade (though I’d like to see some change to the schedule to place the qualifying on Sunday in addition to the race, just to keep the big-day-of-racing thing going). Admitting this is how a lot of F1 races are would probably go a long way anyway.
On the NASCAR side, it’s not immediately obvious that the Coca-Cola 600 is chaos incarnate. After all, it is not on a superspeedway and it is not on a previously undriven road course, the two kinds of tracks where NASCAR gets its wildest (making drivers drive a road course blind, in the playoffs no less, is something NASCAR should not have limited to 2020). It is chaotic, though. It’s a war of attrition. It is a 600-mile automobile race, and that’s significantly longer than 500 miles, and I’d imagine it’s longer than even 600 miles would be at Daytona because of the wear and tear of making so many more turns at Charlotte, a 1.5-mile track.
It’s possible, too, that the Coke 600 will be better this year. With the exception of that All-Star Race at Texas, a disaster in every sense, NASCAR’s been better at intermediate tracks this season than it had grown to be with the old car. We’re making progress.
So, Sunday, if you want a sampler platter of motorsports and you have absolutely nothing else planned, join us: Start your day watching rich children drive single-file past yachts and old buildings. Continue your day watching rich children whip around the Brickyard on the biggest day of the year in the United States’ 15th-largest city (full preview here). Finish your day watching little kids in noise-canceling headphones fall asleep in the stands while rich children’s cars fall apart and some weary winner limps across the line over in North Carolina. Is it NASCAR at its best? No. But it’s probably its most NASCAR, and the F1 and IndyCar happenings are both their best and their most themselves.
Joe Kelly to the IL: Confirmed
Joe Kelly’s going on the injured list, no exact timetable for his return. Hamstrings are tough. Not tough enough, evidently, but hurting them is tough.
What Did I Say, Rowan?
Rowan Wick got into it with Joey Votto again yesterday, and then…Willson Contreras got drilled?
I don’t fully understand the Wick/Votto beef—Wick was initially clearly in the wrong, now Votto’s made it weird, but Votto’s already a weird guy and why not just let it go, Rowan—but Contreras getting hit for it, if that’s what the Reds did, was inexplicable. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, but the timing was suspicious, it was a new dimension to the conflict (just like the Patrick Wisdom one was on Wednesday, if that was intentional), the whole thing was just bizarre. At this point, maybe Wick should just go in there and peg Votto that last week of June at Wrigley. Clearly, the guys don’t like each other, and the longer it goes without them throwing hands, the more pitches are going to hit Willson Contreras. Get it over with before it gets too big and unwieldy.
On the topic of violence, the Cubs lost to the hapless Reds by a score of 20-5, squandering a 2-0 series lead and limping away from Cincinnati with a split. I kind of hope they just start trading guys tomorrow morning so we can give up on this year and look towards 2025. Send David Robertson to the Sox to tide the bullpen over until Joe Kelly gets there. Get two injured prospects in return. Can’t have enough of those!
Matt Carpenter Has Been Playing in Round Rock?
I haven’t made it to a Round Rock Express game yet this year, which means I missed seeing Matt Carpenter. Evidently he’s been up there. With the Yankees now, on the big league roster, but who knew! Matt Carpenter! Here! Well, 25 minutes north of here. I could’ve told him Kyle Schwarber is his daddy for three hours on a Tuesday night. Had no idea.
Missed opportunity.
Texas Is Back
Sorry, football fans, not on the gridiron (that’ll have to wait until the week leading up to Texas/Bama this fall, after which it will have to wait until Texas is competitive against Oklahoma at the end of the month because there’s no way we’re coming out of Texas/Bama seriously saying Texas is back).
We’re talking basketball.
Tyrese Hunter, Joe Stunardi’s favorite player at Iowa State and now a large source of sadness for Joe Stunardi, is transferring to Austin, and if you ask me, anything shy of an undefeated season is going to raise some pretty big questions about why they changed coaches fourteen months ago. I mean, you had a guy who won you a national championship, and you traded him out for a guy who hasn’t won you a national championship despite having a whole lot of talent. Downgrade, to my eyes.
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Viewing schedule for the weekend, excluding Monday because at least for right now the plan is to have fresh notes on Monday in reaction to our favorite 1,100 miles of racing and however-many-miles-they-drive-at-Monaco miles of glitter:
Friday, 8:00 PM EDT: Avalanche @ Blues, Game 6 (TNT, second screen)
This one’s on the second screen because I’ve gotten too attached to hating the Avalanche and I’m scared they’ll win and I’ll be bummed. Also in a display of confidence that there’ll be a Game 7.
Friday, 8:30 PM EDT: Heat @ Celtics, Game 6 (ESPN)
While I trust that the NBA has heard my cries and is eliminating the Heat (whom you may remember have no NIT alumni on their roster), I also don’t trust that the NBA will follow through on it. The NBA is not a league I trust. I will be tuning in. It’s like the guy going to the funeral.
Saturday, 9:55 AM EDT: F1 Qualifying at Monaco (ESPN2)
The best part of this F1 weekend.
Saturday, 7:15 PM EDT: Cubs @ White Sox (FOX or MLB TV I don’t know I see three games on FOX I’m confused)
Keegan Thompson vs. Johnny Cueto is pretty fun, and the one nice thing about losing 20-5 yesterday is that the Cubs enter this series losing absolutely nothing morale-wise if it turns into a season sweep by little brother.
Saturday, 8:00 PM EDT: Hurricanes @ Rangers (ESPN, second screen)
Similarly to the Avalanche, I don’t want the sound on if the Hurricanes win. Also, even in a blowout the Boog & J.D. show is pleasant. They do a nice job. And baseball’s just better background noise in general, you know?
Sunday, 8:55 AM EDT: F1 Monaco Grand Prix (ESPN)
Nice of them to honor fallen American troops, even if they won’t be throwing out candy.
Sunday, 12:45 PM EDT: Indy 500 (NBC)
YES! YES! YES!
Sunday, 2:10 PM EDT: Cubs @ White Sox (MLB TV, second screen)
Thompson Saturday, Miley Sunday? I’ve talked myself into a sweep. This is going to be a disaster.
Sunday, 6:00 PM EDT: Coca-Cola 600 (FOX, second screen)
Yes. No caps or exclamation points. Those are reserved for Daytona and Talladega and the Roval and the IMS Road Course (where they better do the thing where they basically lay down those tire spike lines California cops use in chases, because that was the best moment of last year in NASCAR).
Sunday, 8:00 PM EDT: Blues @ Avalanche, Game 7 (TNT)
Hopefully.
Maybe Joey Votto said something about Rowan Wick having the biggest butt in the MLB….