On the dark side, I didn’t write any notes yesterday, and Friday’s notes turned into Saturday’s notes. On the bright side, I learned a lot about the Cumberland Gap this weekend. Let’s start with the hockey. Thoughts on each of the four series:
The Battle of Alberta
It took a while for it to hit me that the Oilers and the Flames would be playing each other in the second round if each won its first round series, because I have not followed hockey long enough to remember the whole divisional structure to the playoff bracket. Once it hit me, though, heck yeah! Can only hope the Oilers are as willing to fight as the Stars were (and as I’m assuming Oilers fans will be).
The Battle of Florida
The perfect foil to the Battle of Alberta. There will be no fighting between fans here (just kidding—so much fighting happens on flights to and from Orlando, there will definitely be fan fights here they just won’t be principled ones steeped in hockey pride), but there should be approximately seventeen goals per game, which sounds like a riot to me.
The Battle of Dubious Midwestern Labels
Some call Colorado Midwestern, which is fucked up. Some call St. Louis Midwestern, which is not fucked up but does start fading under further examination. Not saying St. Louis isn’t Midwestern, but Ohioans have managed to take such a large role in the Midwest border debate that Omaha’s getting the shaft, and it’s useful to point out that Omaha is infinitely more stereotypically Midwestern than St. Louis when one needs to get the Ohiocentrics on their heels. In the end, Colorado is not the Midwest, and St. Louis is, and that’s why I’d imagine the Blues will win this series, unless the “dubious” in the header holds more weight than I anticipate.
The Battle of, I Don’t Know, Banks or Some Shit
Wait. No. The Hurricanes aren’t in Charlotte. The Hurricanes are in Raleigh.
Really, this is a new-school vs. old-school NHL identity series, which I think makes it fun. Only doesn’t make it fun if the Hurricanes sweep the Rangers and/or if one side is particularly lame at home games. I’d imagine that neither of those will happen, but what do I know? I routinely bonk heads with a dog (speaking of Fargo, I’m taking some medicine right now for a cold [not Covid, thankfully] and she’s so used to being given pills encompassed by tasty things that when she hears a bottle rattle she comes running, which is both cute and annoying because once she comes running she remains awake and wants to play).
No Joe Kelly Spin Zone Today!
It’s a Joe Kelly Hype Zone, after what started badly this afternoon in Kansas City (bloop double, two walks) turned into Joe Kelly’s second-best outing of the year. Couple strikeouts, little flare to the second baseman…our guy escaped a bases-loaded, no-out jam. Was it of his own creation? You could argue that, but you could also argue that sea otters are perverts and nobody wants to hear either of those arguments except for perverts themselves.
It has been, to be fair, a rough start for the guy pitching in a new locale and coming back from a significant nerve injury handled over an offseason without team doctors because of 1) the lockout and 2) the MLB embargo on signing Joe Kelly that was only broken when Rob Manfred was awoken by the ghost of Babe Ruth one night and the ghost of Babe Ruth held a gun to Rob Manfred’s face. Rough start and all, though, our dude had a good outing today in the end, completing a scoreless frame. He’s striking out more batters per inning than in any full season in his career before. He’s not allowing solid contact. His walks are up, but you try controlling pitches that nasty, punk.
Credit to Tony La Russa for not yet panicking with our guy Joe Kelly. Lot of season ahead. Lot of impact to be made. Just another 24 outings like today’s and his ERA will be down to a remarkable 2.00. Digest that, haters.
Burnley Is…Ok?
Sunday morning was a frustrating one for Burnley, who lost 1-0 after Ashley Barnes stuck his arm out and the ball grazed his arm and VAR said, “Yeah, the ball grazed his arm.” I’m not familiar enough with the Premier League to know if Burnley has a legitimate complaint with the call, but it wasn’t fun, and hitting the post later in the game (I forget who individually hit the post, sorry) just made it worse, as did Leeds pulling off a last-second draw with Brighton.
Still, Burnley only trails Leeds by a point, and Burnley has a game in hand, and Burnley only trails Everton by two points, and Burnley doesn’t have a game in hand there but Burnley might have the better schedule the rest of the way, depending how much Arsenal cares on Sunday after laying the egg to hatch all eggs yesterday against Newcastle.
In the end, we really don’t know. Thursday’s big—that’s when Burnley and Everton each next play; Sunday’s big—that’s when everyone plays their last game of the season; I’m nervous. We’re all nervous. Especially VAR, which—if sentient—has to be aware it’s made yet more enemies.
