Dammit.
Dammit, dammit, dammit.
No, not that blink-182 song. Different blink-182 song.
DAMMIT.
Those of you who regularly read our content know that 1) I am an anti-Colorado Avalanche blogger right now and 2) we love bangers. Which makes the Avalanche’s employment of “All the Small Things” quite the move. Checkmate? I mean, maybe.
I mean, shit. That was cool. That is cool. Can you imagine how cool it must have been for someone who was in the building, liked the Avalanche, and had minutes before watched the Avalanche take a 7-0 lead in Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals against the two-time defending champs? I’m not sure I can imagine a rush like that outside of, I don’t know, successfully escaping Moscow after taking a dump in Putin’s pillowcase. (Let’s all take a moment and imagine the rush that would be. Imagine it was a really satisfying dump, too. Just physically. Then add in the geopolitical implications? And the adrenaline?)
So, yeah, we’re in a corner here. Especially because we don’t like the Lightning either. They’re more honorable, as non-carpetbaggers (why the hell did I decide to be anti-carpetbagger this was a terrible decision, Quebec City is neat but it can defend itself, especially with the walls and all), but it’s not like the Lightning are good for hockey. Can they grow the sport in Florida? At this point, no. They’ve done that. And besides that, you know what else grows in Florida? Mangoes. And mangoes kinda stink.
The use of “All the Small Things” as the song at a sporting event is a move that, as many have noted, is overdue. Of course, this also means All the Small Things is about to enter a Sweet Caroline death spiral. Jump Around’s been able to survive because it got viewed as purely a Wisconsin thing. Sweet Caroline was fine when it was a Fenway deal, but then it went national, and All the Small Things is going to go national. USFL teams are going to play All the Small Things at “crucial” moments. Some public school in the new WAC who played All the Small Things at a basketball game (attended y 571 people in 2018 is going to claim it was theirs first, say the tradition is their own, and create merchandise around it. Raleigh is going to steal All the Small Things just like it stole the Whalers from Hartford. All the Small Things is doomed. Full-on doomed.
So, maybe we’re right to hate the Avalanche. They did the right thing, but they’ve inadvertently started a chain that will lead to someone named All the Big Things voting aggressively against their song in a bangers bracket in four years.
Oh No, Texas
Texas was eliminated from the College World Series yesterday, and it happened at the hands of Texas A&M. I think Texas has enough big-brother clout to handle this (by saying, “Yeah, we also won more national championships than some idiot NIT blogger living here in Austin can remember”), but I’m sure it needles. Full Bevo’s Fake Nuts investigation coming tomorrow.
Fair Seas, Bob, and Fair Memories
Eight-time NIT appearer Bob McKillop announced his retirement over the weekend, finally resigning himself to the fact that Steph Curry’s NBA career will always wrongly be more strongly associated with him than any success he could achieve from here in the world’s greatest tournament. It’s a sad day. Some say McKillop leaves Davidson at its peak, having been in great shape to make an NIT run in both 2019 and 2021 but having run into Lipscomb in ’19 before stinking it up in the 16-team field a year ago. Now, the program is passed down to his son, Matt.
Overall, while McKillop will be remembered for coaching a player who played really well in a string of exhibition games in 2008, he should be remembered for taking a program at a small liberal arts school outside Charlotte which had made one NIT in its history and turning them into a once-every-four-years NIT participant. That’s a remarkable step forward, and we wish the guy the best (also, he lost to Shaka Smart in the 2020 Maui Invitational, which is quite the honor historically).
Theo Epstein, For the Vibes
Theo Epstein went to the Cubs game on Friday, got in the basket in front of the bleachers, and sparked a two-game winning streak that I’m afraid might be the Cubs’ longest of the year (fact check: they won four straight that one time in May before we attended a game and ruined the vibes). Not appreciated in this escapade is that Epstein was wearing a Rick Sutcliffe shirt.
I do wish the security hadn’t recognized Epstein and had tried to kick him out. Also, respect to everyone else out there for not climbing in with him, which would have been sad. When the cool kid does something only the cool kid gets to do, you have to let him do it.
Canadian Grand Prix: Most Exciting of the Year?
The Canadian Grand Prix was among the season’s most exciting so far, and arguably was the most exciting, with a legitimate battle for the lead over the final ten or twenty percent of the race. Max Verstappen still won, and Sergio Pérez both retired and is under strict orders to not compete with Red Bull’s baby boy, so there remains absolutely no battle for the season championship, but I’m sure someone’s out there arguing that this is great and that they love it, and they probably do. Love is a choice, after all.
Also, I googled it and evidently micro-concussions are real. Would not have guessed that.
Jack Cork: Staying at Burnley
Jack Cork’s sticking around at Burnley for two more years, as the 32-year-old stalwart, acquired in 2017, signed a new contract just in time for training to resume today. Much needed vibe boost, with Nathan Collins reportedly being pursued by Wolverhampton (I mean, if it gets Burnley money, I get it—if anything gets Burnley money, I get it right now, you really do not want to turn into an insolvent laughingstock like Everton).
Connor Brown: Who Is He?
There was a report over the weekend that Senators winger Connor Brown might want to test free agency after next year, and—which one is Connor Brown again? Ok, so he’s not Josh Norris? Oh he’s the redhead. Vaguely familiar.
To a casual Sens fan, Brown isn’t all that memorable. I mean, the name means something, but not a whole lot. Also, he wants to explore free agency? Me too, bro.
The bottom line is that Brown might matter to the Senators on the ice, but he doesn’t matter to the vibes. And on the first point, it’s hard to see him mattering too much with Gulk now in the fold.
Joe Kelly: Didn’t Get to Pitch Against the Astros
The White Sox lost a series to the Astros over the weekend, and Tony La Russa didn’t turn to Joe Kelly once. Granted, the situations didn’t call for it and the Sox don’t have an off day for a while, but at the same time, the situations would have called for it if La Russa had done what the Dodgers did when they were faced with a must-win game last fall and started Joe Kelly (then got a win). How many times do we have to teach this old man his lesson?
**
Viewing schedule, today/tonight:
2:00 PM EDT: Stanford vs. Auburn (ESPN)
Two grumpy schools.
7:00 PM EDT: Arkansas vs. Mississippi (ESPN)
Two exuberant schools.
7:05 PM EDT: Cubs @ Pirates (MLB TV, second screen)
Let’s see those vibes, Caleb. Still figuring them out.
8:00 PM EDT: Avalanche @ Lightning (ABC, grainy TV with a weirdly still-functional antenna)
No blink-182 tonight. Unless the Lightning steal it. In which case this world is going to hell.
8:10 PM EDT: Blue Jays @ White Sox (MLB TV, phone)
Lance Lynn-to-Joe Kelly is a vibe jackpot. How will Tony La Russa mess it up tonight?
