The Olympics are great because they’re entirely about sports but they also aren’t about sports at all. For example: Most Americans who watch the Olympics watch them on a tape delay. It’s not important to them who won. They just want to soak in some Olympics.
What comes out of this is kind of a refreshing way to consume sports. Bros aren’t talking about their bets. Nerds aren’t talking about their fantasy teams. Only the most poorly adjusted (that’s us) are trying to get takes out of the deal. For most Olympics viewers, the product is the sports. They’re there to watch the sports. This is a very un-sports way to do sports.
The tape delay has some funny ramifications. For example, after Leigh Diffey called the wrong winner yesterday in the live broadcast of the men’s 100-meter dash, a terrifying species of annoying sports fan revealed itself: The poorly-adjusted dork.
The poorly-adjusted dork is a combination of the dork (a cousin to that fantasy sports-obsessed nerd) and the poorly adjusted (someone who thinks sports exist so they can share opinions about them). Where do they live? The internet. How do they spend their time? Missing the point.
For most Americans watching Noah Lyles win gold yesterday, whether they watched live or in primetime, the biggest story was that Noah Lyles won the gold medal. Secondary stories included that it was the USA’s first gold medal in years in the men’s 100-meter dash, that Lyles has a big personality, and that it was a very close race, so close that the NBC commentator couldn’t tell who won! This was all fun, like Stephen Nedoroscik’s glasses or Stephen Nedoroscik’s cat. For the poorly-adjusted dorks, the biggest story was that Leigh Diffey made a mistake. This was not fun. This was serious business. Here are three blog posts from Awful Announcing, at least one of which includes a large collection of tweets from the public criticizing Diffey for the call. (Full disclosure: I didn’t scroll through the other two.)
This is not the point!!!!!!!
I know Awful Announcing’s purpose is to report on sports media. It’s fine. They’re weirdos, but so am I. It’s fine.
But to have enough anti-Diffey tweets to easily fill a blog post…stop it. Everybody just stop it. Noah Lyles won that race. Leigh Diffey was not a competitor.
In a big moment like that, yes, we want a call as cool as Al Michaels asking America if it believed in miracles. But the 1980 U.S. Hockey team isn’t important because of Al Michaels. Cool calls are cool! But they’re not the point of sports.
Etc.
- Kentucky’s going to hold an “open” basketball tryout later this month, and I don’t know if they’re trying to find walk-ons or not. I hope they’re not. I hope this is a marketing idea. If I ran a basketball program in a place that loves basketball, I would hold open tryouts for walk-ons. What is a cooler experience as a new college freshman than trying to walk onto the basketball team at Kentucky? What makes you feel more a part of Kentucky than that?
- Patrick Mahomes is getting worse at football, his peers confirmed last week, naming him only the fourth-best player in the NFL. I love the NFL Top 100. What a goofy exercise. They have to expand to 200 soon, right? Or at least 150?
- I am thirteen years late on this, but the Tri Nations expanded?? Evidently Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa added Argentina to the mix, and it’s called The Rugby Championship now. I like that this took thirteen years to reach me. It’s like someone sent a letter but then the boat carrying the letter got shipwrecked. Tournament starts Friday.
- “(Rory McIlroy) maintained that his favorite event is equestrian dressage, saying, “I just think it’s amazing how they get those horses to do that.” Great line. Here’s the unrelated ESPN article, but there is no context other than that they were talking to Rory McIlroy about the Olympics. What a line. Maybe I’ve been underestimating dressage.
- My impression of baseball cards and other card collectibles is that the trend was big a while ago, stopped being big, and are now medium? Is that right? If so, who bought when the trend was at its low point? Give me a Big Short about the guy who invested in a rare José Fernández rookie card.
- Kyle Tucker has now missed more than two months of baseball since fouling a ball off his shin. Two months for a bruise. I know it really, really hurts. I’m not disputing that. I would probably be out for one million months, because I would be in so much pain that I would simply retire. What I think is weird is that the Astros didn’t call it a broken leg? It’s like they want to drive his price down before they try to extend him, so they’re making him sound like a wimp.
- While discussing Kevin Durant’s role on Team USA, Steve Kerr mistakenly referred to exhibition games as “friendlies.” Friendlies? Those are games non-American teams play in soccer. In American sports and in sports involving American teams, they’re called exhibitions. Get it right, Steve. You’re representing your country here. Don’t you dare go European on us now.
