Ok, so there’s a lot of catching up happening here. First of all, I didn’t realize the final round of All-Star voting had closed, which strongly parallels how I didn’t realize the first round of All-Star voting had closed. I did not do my civic duty. I apologize.
Fittingly, it appears there was higher turnout in Canada than the U.S., because Blue Jays are all over the place on the final ballot. If we ever get into a real war with the Canadians, and that real war is decided by online voting, we may be overmatched.
But that’s not the biggest thing here. The biggest thing is that William Contreras, Atlanta catcher/designated hitter and younger brother of Cubs catcher Willson Contreras, is evidently really, really good. This makes sense. He is the younger brother of Willson Contreras, after all, so a lot of the same genes, a lot of the same environment, etc. Pretty similar people. But I still didn’t realize it. I saw his name on the finalist list (no, not the “final-list,” there will be plenty more lists to come as this world drones on), and I wondered if he was becoming a cult hero over in Georgia, or if Cubs fans were voting for him so he could start the All-Star Game alongside his brother, or if there was some confusion about the two guys listed as “W. Contreras.” (Now that I write that, I do wonder if there was some confusion…) Then, I looked at his stats, and hey! The dude’s good. Hitting home runs all over the place.
It’s unfortunate that Atlanta doesn’t have a hole at catcher the Cubs could fill. Although I suppose that if they did, William Contreras wouldn’t be here. Was going to make a Contreras-for-Contreras trade proposal but, well, we can all now see that doesn’t make sense. Moving on:
The Draft Got Sens’d
Who’d the Senators draft? Not sure. Saw a big dude, saw a Senator’s son, didn’t see any of the others, or at least didn’t internalize them. I’m assuming these guys are all capable of kicking a lot of ass, and that the entire NHL is reeling right now from its latest Sens-ing.
One team I know is reeling is the Chicago Blackhawks, who—though evidently their later trades were more palatable—were utterly and thoroughly fleeced by Pierre Dorion, which is very similar to getting bamboozled by Kevin Malone. Look at the smile on this man’s face:
Has anyone else noticed that Dorion sometimes looks a little like a contént Alex Jones? Should I erase that?
Oh, right, the trade:
The Senators got Alex DeBrincat in exchange for some draft picks, including their first rounder. DeBrincat’s only under contract for one more year, which is a little tough, but you try walking away from a Brady Tkachuk-led team. Brady Tkachuk won’t let you. You’ll get the biggest swirlie of your life if you do that. DeBrincat’s only 5’7”. Tkachuk will manhandle him if he tries to walk during free agency.
So, DeBrincat’s a Sen for life, the Senators will now sign Claude Giroux, Gritty will come with him, and I will invade Rob Manfred’s head and convince him it’s a good idea to move the Rays to Ottawa instead of Montreal, where they will then be renamed “The Senators II.”
Everything’s coming up Milhouse.
Jericho Sims: Professional Basketball Player
Big news for old friend Jericho Sims, a Shaka Smart protégé and NIT champion here at Texas (I like saying “here at Texas” as though I speak for the school because I imagine exasperated hate-readers of Bevo’s Fake Nuts yelling, “THIS GUY DOESN’T EVEN LIKE TEXAS” at their phones while in the loo).
Congratulations, Jericho. You still always look sad, but there are worse emotions to always look.
Whoops, sorry. The news: Jericho Sims’s contract with the Knicks is now that of a full-time pro. Not a two-way player.
Ok, the F1 Race Was Good
It was not intentional that we waited until five days after the fact to address Formula 1’s British Grand Prix, which was an exciting affair even without the near-deadly Zhou Guanyu crash that started the day. It’s just been that sort of week (a little more on that below). We’ll gladly admit it was a great race, with an awesome restart between Hamilton, Pérez, and the Ferrari boys there at the end. It wasn’t the first good race of the F1 season, but it was the first great one, and there were three ingredients behind that:
The first was that this was a big race. This was not just another grand prix, it was the British one, which seems like one of the “majors,” to the extent they exist.
The second was that Max Verstappen wasn’t involved. Would it have been better with him involved? Yes, but he’s gotten too dominant this year for the sport’s good, and he doesn’t have that poised air of greatness which makes certain dominators so captivating. He doesn’t have The Federer Factor.
The third was that F1 has done a phenomenal job of showing its drivers as people, and as distinct people. Sainz seemingly rebelling against his own team (after his own team made yet another boneheaded call, which necessitated the rebellion) was electric. Pérez trying to steal a win for Red Bull was electric. Hamilton nearly pulling off the win in what’s been such a disappointing season for him was electric. The on-track racing was nothing NASCAR and IndyCar don’t give multiple times per weekend. It was the personalities that accompanied it which made it special.
Elsewhere on roads, it was great to see Tyler Reddick get that first win. NASCAR drivers are too similar to each other, but he’s on one of the likable corners of the mold. I see Scott McLaughlin won at Mid-Ohio, and it might have been a good race, but IndyCar didn’t break into the sphere of consciousness on Fourth of July weekend, so I have no idea what happened and that’s on them.
NASCAR’s at Atlanta this weekend, which should be a lot more fun than Road America was, if earlier races this year are an indicator. Road America fell firmly on the boring side of road course races, reinforcing the guess that COTA was an exception and that this new car is best on ovals, for better or worse (it’s for better—road courses are a bonus, having both would be great but exciting oval racing should be and is the priority).
F1’s in Austria, where with the Mercedes boys crashing in the qualifying laps for the qualifying race, it’s looking like Verstappen will return to dominance so long as his engine holds up.
In our last motorsports news, renowned punk ass-bitch (which is different from punk-ass bitch) Noah Gragson took out multiple cars (thirteen were involved in the accident in total) when he swerved into Sage Karam during the Xfinity race. NASCAR did not park him, but they did take thirty points away from him after the race. Understandably, there were reactions to NASCAR’s lax response, but as someone on the outside, it seems pretty clear that the needle NASCAR needs to thread with this is one where 1) stuff like this still happens, 2) it doesn’t make a joke of the competition side of the sport, and 3) nobody gets hurt. Which, I mean, is what happened in this case. So…good job?
What Burnley’s Been Up To
I’ll hold off on new acquisition rumors, not because they aren’t worthwhile but because I can’t keep track of them (old one updates: Muric is still possible, Muleka fell through). In terms of firm acquisitions, we’re up to five, most of which we’ve already mentioned:
- Luke McNally (defense, Oxford United, transfer)
- CJ Egan-Riley (defense, Man City, free agent)
- Scott Twine (forward/midfield, MK Dons, transfer)
- Taylor Harwood-Bellis (defense, Man City, loan)
- Samuel Bastien (midfield, Standard Liège, transfer)
On the departure side, Wout Weghorst is officially off to Beşiktaş, but on a loan, at least to start. Unclear how much money he’s bringing back. No other departures yet, though Phil Bardsley started a weird little stir by criticizing Burnley’s manner of letting him go and Maxwel Cornet is being linked to Chelsea as a fallback plan. Still no word on Nathan Collins. First match of the year is now just three weeks away. Having Cornet and Collins for even a few weeks could be helpful? If they play. Suppose they could be held out to preserve health.
In coaching news, Craig Bellamy is joining Vincent Kompany’s staff. Which reminds me: What happened to Mike Jackson? According to Google, he’s the U23 coach again, but Google first brought up Michael Jackson, as though I care about that guy, so who knows.
That Sort of Week
We’re all fine, just busy trying to get our ducks in a row for the upcoming college sports academic year, so apologies for the occasionally sparse content this week. Still looking for a chance to get License Plate Bracket III off the ground, but that’ll probably be our last bracket this summer. Fargo Friday will return soon—nothing on it today for similar reasons. I will check Mason Ramsey’s Instagram again soon, and may even start tracking his TikTok activity. I did get ice cream last night, but I went more adventurous than was necessary even after taking a sample because I liked the sample but I didn’t like it enough to have a full scoop but because I’d sampled it and liked it I felt like I should go through on the scoop and, look, it was a matter of preparation. This is all a matter of preparation. We will all learn and grow.
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Weekend viewing schedule:
Friday, 8:10 PM EDT: Tigers @ White Sox (MLB TV)
Saturday, 2:10 PM EDT: Tigers @ White Sox (MLB TV)
Sunday, 2:10 PM EDT: Tigers @ White Sox (MLB TV)
Do you guys think there’ll ever be a Joe Kelly channel that just has a camera on Joe Kelly through the duration of every game involving his team? Unless he’s having a wee, I mean. No cameras for wees.
Friday, 10:10 PM EDT: Cubs @ Dodgers (MLB TV)
Saturday, 10:10 PM EDT: Cubs @ Dodgers (MLB TV)
Sunday, 4:10 PM EDT: Cubs @ Dodgers (MLB TV)
Justin Steele’s having a baby.
Sunday, 9:00 AM EDT: F1 Austrian Grand Prix (ESPN2)
Sunday, 3:00 PM EDT: NASCAR @ Atlanta (USA, second screen)
The NASCAR race might actually have infinitely more passing than the F1 race this weekend.
