In very welcome news, Fargo is home. The fever’s gone, she’s up for eating again, and we’ve got plenty of medicine to give her that should keep ushering the pneumonia out of her little puppy lungs. In unwelcome news, part of her treatment plan includes restricting her exercise, so we’re going to have to keep her away from her good friend Auggie, who lives next door, lest they romp (they are fond of a good romp). She will likely be unhappy about this, but hopefully it’s nothing a few steam baths can’t take her mind off of. (They did tell us to do steam baths—we’re supposed to steam up the bathroom and hang out with her in it for five to ten-minute chunks. Maybe I’m naïve but I’m excited about this. I think it’s going to be hilarious to take my dog into the steam room every day.)
Now. Sports:
The Senators Put the Fear of God into the Pittsburgh Penguins
If you’re going to lose 6-4, the best way to do it is to give your opponent a 5-1 lead and rally back to make it 5-4 in the third period, forcing them to consider the possibility they might blow a massive lead, and that they might blow it against the Ottawa Senators.
It didn’t happen. The Penguins won. But the Sens showed that they can score three goals at a time with relative ease, and they capped it off with Brady Tkachuk throwing haymakers, which is all you can ask for.
Erik Brännström had a great night, the goalies (Forsberg and Gustavsson) had a bad night, the Sens have two over the weekend—Capitals tomorrow in D.C. at 6:00 PM Texas Time (ESPN+), Blue Jackets Sunday in Columbus at 5:00 PM Texas Time (ESPN+).
Burnley Time?
Burnley’s supposed to play on Sunday at 8:00 AM Texas Time on USA down at natural rival Arsenal, and this is funny: NBC’s got the wrong times on their website. At least for me, everything’s showing up an hour or half an hour early. Hilarious move, NBC. You clutzes.
Burnley, of course, is a massive underdog without Maxwel Cornet (and possibly others, who knows), but with two matches in hand on Watford, the primary target just outside the relegation zone, and just a three-point gap there entering the weekend, this game is kind of a free play.
For those wondering: Watford hosts Norwich this afternoon. Newcastle goes to Leeds tomorrow. All three of Watford, Norwich, and Newcastle are projecting more likely to be relegated than Burnley on FiveThirtyEight, but the market disagrees, and beyond having Norwich very likely to be relegated the odds have Burnley slightly more likely than Watford, with both a bit more likely than Newcastle.
No transfer news at the moment, just speculation, does sound like a move or two will happen within the window, hopefully for someone who can score goals. Matěj Vydra may play this weekend, but he’s likely due for a hernia surgery soon. Jay Rodriguez is still getting back healthy. Ashley Barnes still sounds to be a bit away. Chris Wood plays for Newcastle now.
Could Burnley just not play any strikers? Not try to score, aim for a scoreless draw? It would be a good bit, and possibly a good strategy. I don’t know, guys. Just think about it. For me.
Andy Enfield’s Dancing with Satan
Literally, of course, but also figuratively. USC’s on fraud watch for sure right now, with only two losses but just one win over a team likely bound to miss the NIT on the high side. They nearly fell to Colorado last night in Boulder, and they’ve got to play at Utah tomorrow for the second leg of the famed Pac-12 altitude trip, which teams are evidently much better at adjusting for than they used to be.
Belmont’s Dancing with Us
Belmont! It wasn’t terribly surprising, but the Bruins lost to Morehead State in the state of Morehead yesterday. It’s a fair loss, but it’s doing a lot to quiet the “two-bid OVC” talk the other tournament’s fans have been throwing around, and it’s doing a lot to amplify our own “two-bid OVC” talk over here.
NIT or NOT? Memphis
So, presently, the answer is still NIT. SMU isn’t that bad. But Penny Hardaway is clearly on tilt, and he’s also clearly not finding anything that works. So if I had to guess…NOT. Possibly because Hardaway will get fired and the committee will tell them to take a month for themselves. Maybe go spend a week at Gulf Shores.
Tigers play at Tulsa on Sunday and it can’t go well. Even a blowout would be met with a smirk from the gods.
Game of the NITe of the Weekend
Alright, you’ve been waiting for it, we’ve been waiting for it, your mom’s probably been waiting for it, (Do you talk to your mom about the NIT?) it’s the Game of the NITe of the Weekend, and it’s Florida State/Miami. I mean, goodness, what a matchup. Historic rivals playing in treacherous territory on the NIT’s high bubble. 1:00 PM CST tomorrow, ESPN, tell your mom to call Applebee’s and make sure they’ll have it on at brunch.
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Our viewing schedule for the weekend (all times CST):
Friday
- 2:00 PM: Watford @ Norwich. USA Network. Go Burnley.
- 5:00 PM: Toledo @ Ohio. CBSSN.
- 8:00 PM: Michigan State @ Wisconsin, I guess (FS1), but would take one hell of a losing streak from either to become relevant.
- 10:00 PM: Fresno State @ Nevada, FS1.
- 12:00 AM-4:00 AM, if you happen to be up feeding a baby (shoutout to the reader who named his daughter after Joe Stunardi): Australian Open, ESPN2. Not sure which matches will be on in that hour, because it’s challenging to find out ESPN’s broadcast schedule (maybe it isn’t determined yet), but that just adds to the mystique of the Australian Open, perhaps the vaguest of all sporting events (I don’t know what that means either but we’re going with it).
Saturday
- 6:30 AM: Everton @ Aston Villa. USA Network. Go Burnley (think this means cheering against Everton).
- 9:00 AM: Newcastle @ Leeds. USA Network. Go Burnley (this means cheering against Newcastle).
- 11:00 AM: Oh thank God it’s basketball, we’re starting the day with Syracuse @ Duke on ESPN. Syracuse needs a win. It would be funny if Duke lost.
- 12:00 PM: Alright by now it should be clear Syracuse isn’t going to win, so Vanderbilt @ Florida on SEC Network. Vanderbilt’s lurking. Very on-brand.
- 1:00 PM: So now at this point Florida’s found Vanderbilt, presumably, and even if they haven’t we flip to the Game of the NITe of the Weekend on ESPN (Oklahoma State/Texas is on ESPN2 if you want to switch during commercials to a no-win game for the Horns, which is the best type of game for the Horns, guess you could watch both if you have two televisions or if they still let you into bars or something).
- 2:30 PM: So you don’t actually have to turn this on right away, of course (Game of the NITe of the Weekend takes precedent), but given CBSSN’s weird status as a not-real channel, I think you could pop it onto the computer. Missouri State @ Loyola. Keep waiting for Missouri State to make their move. Where are you, Missouri State? Fargo’s asking. You’re letting your girl down.
- 3:00 PM: I don’t know where this might be televised, but UAB/Louisiana Tech could decide Conference USA’s regular season title (or play a big role in it), and since this country is the USA, that could make this the national championship. Obviously, large NIT implications, and Kenneth Lofton’s playing so I think we should try to find it.
- 6:00 PM: It’s Sens time. Really. ESPN+. Nothing awesome on the basketball court until 7:30, so at least get it going on the computer while you eat your chili.
- 7:30 PM: Texas A&M @ Arkansas, SEC Network. This is awesome. Eric Musselman and his fake-injured shoulder may or may not be in attendance. I haven’t checked. Either way, another great Arkansas/A&M game. They should make these schools play eight times a year and see if anyone but me notices. I suppose it’s possible they’re already doing that.
- 8:30 PM: Boise State @ San Diego State, CBSSN. Boise State can’t afford a win here. At least in the immediate sense. Could probably get over it. Lot of season left.
- 10:00 PM: Arizona State @ Stanford, FS1. Stanford can’t afford a loss here. Ditto all those Boise State caveats.
- Late-NITe: Australian Open time, hope your baby’s loving the milk.
Sunday
- 8:00 AM: Burn, Baby. Burnley. USA Network.
- 11:00 AM: Butler @ Providence, FS1. Neither that close to the picture but that could change!! And Butler Blue will be there.
- 1:00 PM: Xavier @ Marquette. FS1. What will Shaka Smart do next?
- 2:30 PM: Michigan @ Indiana. CBS. Michigan’s balancing act requires a loss here, if they’re going to go perfectly by the script.
- 5:00 PM: Yes, we’re watching the Sens again.
- 9:00 PM: Washington @ Oregon, FS1. Imagine a world where all our college sports media came from the Pacific Northwest, like how college football media’s all in Atlanta and pro sports media’s all from Boston but left. Now, imagine how big this game would be.
- Late-NITe: I mean the baby’s not just suddenly going to sleep through the NITe. Patience, friends. Know you’re in our thoughts.
